Mermaid Dreams and tribulations

POST CNY

2008-05-11T14:13:00.004+08:00

Here're some shots from CNY, late, but still here nonetheless. So ya, short post today, got stuff to do. Ciao.

My sis n i.

Been a missing

2008-04-28T20:17:00.003+08:00

Helo whoever reads,
exams are 'round the corner,actually no, its gonna hit me right smack in the face in two days. YUP, niwaez, i just wanna say thanx, for the concern i've been shown recently coz of the spat with Grace. It came at a very timely period when i was simply questioning everythin i did with regards to everyone's friendships. I'll just say this again thou, watever i do, i cannot guarantee that u'd be happy with me, and yet still, i cannot promise that i wont disappoint u, all i say i can do is try. As much as that word has been over used, it is still THE word i'll use, trying can both mean tiring and yet it can also mean not giving up.

And yes Grace, there i things i know which has disappointed me greatly, more than u can imagine, and yet, i still miss your company, and think of u when i see things. At this point in time, i'm so ready to kick u outta my life with a big fat boot planted on ur behind, ya, and i will do wat i say if i wanted to. Mostly because of ur letter. Have u no concept at all of the person i am? Of what i always have felt? I dont believe in re-starting. Its so stupid simply because u cannot re-start life. And re-starting does not erase past mistakes and hurt, it only gives u the illusion that i can be erased. This isnt a computer bug u can squash simply by re-formatting, or anti-virusing, u simply have to tackle it, even if its screaming at the top of ur voice at the person involved. at least then, it'd be solved. So yes grace, this is a gist of whats to come. there's 5 on the way for u, will prob spread towards ur b-day if its not in time. I dunno how u will take it, somehow i'm not entirely unhappy if u get pissed. At the very least, u'll solve it soon.

I'm not very complex. The very simple thing is, I love you, love who u are although u pissed me off big time now. Twins dont stop being twins, the reals ones cant, but the ones we choose, it's not out of jest. So unless u steal my husband (stop rolling ur eyes, i said husband not boyfriend), or kill those i love, or something to that extent, i WONT stop loving u, Wont stop thinking of u as my twinie, my best friend. So yea, the very essence is Shut up about re-starting, it wont work. And now, back to the study table, sigh, I want my best friend back, i've got tons of whine lined up in store for u.

Alright, for those who are still hanging in there, i do like everyone too. Just that i somehow love grace a bit bit more even if she doesnt believe me much anymore. anyone got a manuel on best friends? i think mine's expired. bleah.

J! u were unexpected! Tkx man, u've been this really cool friend under this sky we both share. Come find me soon, i bring u to eat! yum

. i'll post my v-day tulips soon! Yay, my purple tulips. so happy.

Ao nang,CNY,Choices.

2008-03-23T11:11:00.005+08:00

I've found somewhere to upload pictures! Whoopieeee...thanx to ChunMeng's blog entry. I saw his pictures when he went to sydney, and so i decided that it'll be a great idea for me to upload there too. yup. :) niwaez, those are long due, Krabi was awesome, but just in case u decide to go, it krabi AO NANG, not krabi town. yup. i stayed at ao nang villa, great in terms of location and living space. i liked it there a lot, and the people were friendly enough.

Food's a little expensive thou, unless of coz u'd totally go for the roadside stalls, which are great by the way. And really cheap. like 15 bhatt per plate of noodles. woo hoo...i miss cheap food already. o and i love the chicken rice. YUM. had to walk super far to get it thou, but worth every mouthful!

I MISSS AO NANG already. Sobz, i wanna buy a long boat and live ther too. Haha...such fun, sun sand and SEA. i actually got a bit tanned. lol. so fun. still have my tanlines!!!!! but they're all fading. i so wanna go back. maybe with loadsa friends this time. anyone interested?? *grin*

Niwaez, CNY has also come and gone. and ya, i'll post pictures too...its actually march already. pretty soon i'll have to choose my area of interest. and the thingis, i've got no idea what i really want! *panic* I like ultrasound, but i'm afraid i'm not good enough. i like MRI, but i get bored when pple talk to me abt the physics. I've got nothing against CT, just that it doesnt interest me as easily as US and MRI. O man......................................Choices....again. *falls flat on face* http://picasaweb.google.com/ahope216/Krabi

here's the krabi webby. tata.

GRACE!

2008-03-09T18:19:00.002+08:00

Cant seem to upload pictures. SIGH........
Niwaez, i miss having grace around. Feel like screaming at her thou. But, i dunno if i'll even get another chance. Wish she'll love me once more, thou i dont dare hope for anything. i accepted that she's moved on, but still, sigh.
Once i tot that best friends were like family, that they'd never leave no matter what. But now she taught me different. Best friends need attention too. Just that i learnt too late and now she's gone. Not dead, just not here. She says she's not ready to speak to me. I wonder till when. I dont like to leave things hanging. it annoyes me. Why cant we just solve it? I get mixed signals. some signals tell me that she still want my friendship. others tell me that she's gone for good. i try to talk to her, but she tells me that she's tired of clapping and that she'll talk to me when emotions settle. maybe thats sensible. but i dont understand why we have to be sensible coz when she's ready to talk, we might just not be friends anymore. Stubborness is something we both share, but if its being stubborn abt something which has a better solution, its just stupid. Grace, i dunno if u still care. i do. Just feel like u tell me the problem and den leave it to me to solve it when its too late. if the case has already been tried, and the verdict set, what defence can i prepare when i didnt even know i was on trial? i cannot make magic. i can only do human stuff. and that involves a whole lot of mistakes and assumptions coz i cannot read your mind. so tell me grace, u dont have to do anything anymore, but just tell me. how much does the friendship still mean to you? enough to put aside the pettyness and talk to me, or would u rather just leave things the way it is now and run away from solving it? hmmm? the clock's ticking, wat if i die tmr?

Small msg

2008-01-30T01:42:00.000+08:00

Hey...i havent been blogging lately...been occupied.
Well, will upload pictures soon. Got loads. Grin

The brand new something

2008-01-05T17:21:00.000+08:00

Hey...for those who read...HAPPY NEW YEAR!
things have been rather mundane. My new year started of really badly.
Niwaez...i guess, i'll have a resolution too. i hope to be a better person. someone my friends can lean on, and talk to. someone my family would be proud off, and someone WL will never get enough off. :)
Well, dear friends, 2007 has had its ups and downs. I cant say i will apologise for everything i've done, but i can say that there are certain things i wish i could do differently. maybe i havent been the bestest friend recently, maybe i've been too concieted. if i have made u unhappy, i apologise.
To my family, i still love u guys even thou u drive me nuts, destroy my stuff, eat my tidbits, disturb my sleep, and take up my space.
To grace, i love u girl. For ur friendship, companionship and everything u've been doing for me. i'm sorry i'm not the perfect best friend but i will try harder. i'm looking forward to our trip abroad together, and hoping that it will actually happen. ha. cheers to our friendship, and i look forward to more. some things i dont have to say, i simply assmue, that u know u're precious to me, that i think u're wonderful, that you are one of the strongest, most insistent, ok stubborn, person i've ever known. and that i wouldnt exchange u for anyone in the world. stay in touch when u go abroad k...i'm so gonna die w/o my twin. o ya, things like being there for u and u making me who i am, i dont hafta say, coz its been oversaid, and i think now u know. ;)
To serene, i'm not even sure u read my blog, but if u eventually do, i just wanna say that i appreciate what u have been in my life. Without u, i wouldnt be so much of who i am. there were so many times where i took my cue from u, although u might not have noticed. our friendship has grown distant and i'm sorry for that. i hope we'll be agle to regain a semblance of what we had, and continue to make the world better with ur laughters.
Michelle, i'll never forget u. Drama thou ur life may be, with wierd choices, funny languages, i'll be there as much as i can. i'm only a call away, ur own private listening ear and shoulder. :) having u as my friend has been bundles of joy and laughter. i cannot wait for more. may life be better for u. and may u finally find someone who gives u as much spark and love.
lastly, WL. for the past 2 years and 10 months, u have been a mixture of laughter, joy,upsets and love. i cant say that u're the best thing in my life coz there are others i'll always be thankful for. but i can say that ur love has been somethiing i'm very glad i have. because, ur tolerance and patience works wonders when i throw tantrums and hissy fits. although i do hope that u will play less computer games, put less importance on soccer, start running with me, go good food hunting with me, teach me to ride that darn bike, take that neoprint u promised and think of me more, i love you. and i still am hoping that u'll do the "i'll do anything to make my gf happy" magic soon. maybe we should have "anything to maake my gf happy day" LOL.
thank you, everyone who's been in my life. yup.

Jazz blues. Falling.

2007-11-20T01:31:00.000+08:00

Free falling has always been scary to me.
You know the team activity where you stand on a platform and just fall backwards? And your team members are supposed to catch u and make sure u dont fall and hurt yourself? Think its called trust fall. I absolutely abhore it. Hate it. Yucks.
I'm usually the last few to go up. Coz i simply cannot fathom the thought of just letting urself go and trusting blindly. How would u know if the people below will catch you? How in the world would u know if, at the end of the day, you dont end up broken?

I've been starting to liken being in love or rather, choosing to love someone, to free falling. The major similiarity? Falling, and falling and NOT knowing if someone's gonna catch you in the process.

In that case, I'm starting to wonder how people start loving another in the first place. Somehow i get the sinking feeling that u're just suppose to let go and fall. Up till today, the only constant defination of the word love, i know, is the one where God so loved the world that He gave His only son...... you know the rest. Not even the love from parents are constant. (I dont mean that our parents dont. I'm just taking into account that there are people out there who do not give two hoots about who they've brought into the world.)

So, as i was saying, how does it really feel to BE in love? Not talking about the fairy tale glittery stuff people use to describe that word. More like what is it to you? Up till now, i still question my feelings for WL. OF Coz, i know that he means quite a lot to me. Important enough for me to blow my friends off just so i get to spend time with him (sorry guys). I also know that i like making him happy. Like to make him laugh. When i see him, i feel happy, and when i dont, i'll think abt him. But, i somehow dont think that all that means love. Coz, i get annoyed with him all the time. It could be the small little things or a really huge one. Or it could simply be because he dug his nose and den hold my hand b4 cleaning it (eeewwwww). I also expect to be pampered back... like how come i'm always the one pampering? i wanna be pampered too!!! Den again, everyone fights, disagrees, get pissed, ALL THE TIME. Well, i also have to confess that i pick on him a lot. Lots of things he does, or not, i'll say something, like why u..... or why you dont.... (I know, i know, nothing's perfect) but if love is as wonderful as all the books and stuff says, why isnt all those in love, wonderfully happy all the time? So are they in love or aint they? So confusing right? Gosh. My mind is a really stupid device.

You know, relationships are really tough to figure out. Especially the ones u seem to care about the most.
There is this other question which has been troubling me lately. How do u know if the person in your life is the one u should be with? I asked those around me who have been married for sometime, and the usual answer is "i dunno" ! O man...is it another free falling thing AGAIN? o man, so maybe i am gonna end up marrying at 45. although i do so hope i'll be hitched by 24 / 25. sigh. Trust. Its something i'll never understand. Nor do easily.

I always felt that trust should be earned. And if its broken too many times, the mending wont make it the same. ther'll always be a scar, always be a memory that the trust was broken. And den what? It'll be a constant reminder, a mar on the perfection of simple trust. In that case, would anything good come out of it?

Imperial Night

2007-11-14T01:24:00.000+08:00

I'm super tired after uploading. Have fun with the pictures.

We got ready together. DFZ and OKJ.

The contestants i know. And think are good-looking. *Hint*

Performance

Waiting for the results

Mr Personality, the one who didnt want his prize.

Toasting

Aftermath

MY Mr SGH. I think he's handsome. ;)

Waiting

2007-10-22T10:49:00.000+08:00

I'm missing you, do you know that?

Whining

2007-10-19T00:20:00.000+08:00

Been rather melancholy. Am sick now. sore throat sore nose, pounding head, plus no appetite. NO APPETITE. can u imagine my misery. sobz. bah...need to whine

GoodBye IPS

2007-10-11T22:54:00.000+08:00

I've bid farewell to my first rotation post. Inpatient. From there, i've learnt many things and made many new friends. Most importantly, the memories i've had with the people i've worked with, i'm not really sure what to say. I started out being very apprehensive abt the department. heard many horror stories! *LOL* but i've grown to enjoy working there pretty much, OT, portable, the two things i did the most, and used to dislike. i've made my peace with these two things, and actually enjoy them! esp OT. i'm not that good, but i like it there. LOL. For those u get what i mean, No, i'm NOT mad.
Let the pictures do the talking...

This is Joyce, i met her on portable. She's really awesome. barks more than she bites thou. I love having her around in the wards. She's one nurse, i know, who cares abt her patients.

Alright...the rest are just friends in IPS.

from left: Gian, Me, Des, May

Mira, Me, Ami (MaMa)

Ami (MaMa) She absolutely reminds me of Piper in Charmed!

Mira, Me Mira teaches me "tagalouge" grin.

Kuya James! My very first night shift partner ever. Dont have a pic of Auntie Latifah, but they were really really AWESOME.

Auntie Alijah. Never worked with her much, but certainly enjoyed crapping with her a lot!

Margret! *LOL* makes kueh for us to eat, and also calls us for EXTRA portable cases!

From left: Carren, me , Ami , Mira

Allan (behind) Me, Vincent

Me, GIAN! He's sooooooo cute!

Vincent, Me. Vincent is soooo nice.

Jeanette n ME at Arlene's b-day bash...

Alright...i dont have everyone i'd like to have on film...there's so many more. I guess i just wanted to say thanx. For the laughter, the fun and the support to make thins better at work. Muwah...

ok this last picture has no relation to the topic. but i cannot refrain from sharing. I love the picture. maybe coz it has two of the very impt poeple in my life.

And finally...the two handsome men dear to heart.

WL and Des... One boyfriend and one brother. *grin* both by choice.

Awesome aint they... I do think so. nitez

A heart full of mazes

2007-10-05T21:11:00.000+08:00

i got this maze from www.cartooncritters.com/mazepage.htm

I realised that for a long while, i've been envying others because of their boyfriends. The really sweet things their guy tend to do for them, the funny, the really really thoughtful. everytime i read abt these sweet LITTLE things, my heart sorta just sighs. And i'd wonder if i'd ever find someone who'd love me that way. How nice it would be to be missed, thought of. enough to want to do something just for a smile. I've always wondered, but never really knew. I've been on the other side of the coin plenty, and i'd really want to see how the shoe fits on the other foot.

one might wonder if i am already wearing that other shoe but just expect too much. i'm wondering the same too. And maybe i am. But i'd really love to know how a princess feels, to constantly be in someone's loving spotlight. With u in turn loving that someone back. (excludes stalkers by the way)

Honestly, i've considered the fact that most times i'm really dense abt how a person treats me. I dont realise what is happening. Just react at the moment. which reminds me of what i was called previously by my friends, impulsive, oblivious and complacent. sigh, i guess they're right eh. :(

So WL, i doubt u ever visit my blog, but if u do see this, i appreciate u. The times where u hold ur tongue and give in to me knowing that i'm too stubborn to let the issue go. (even if sometimes its ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL to solve the problem) For ur annoying yet oddly comforting way of constantly bugging me abt holding ur hand. For the times where u'd eat anything which comes out of my kitchen and comment even thou i snare at u when i dont like to hear it. (LOL) When u'd go out with me after work even if u're tired. When u bother to help pay for cab fare when we take cab home (even thou u'd leave the cab first...ahem!) I guess i dont see ur little things as much as i see other boyfriends' little things.

Maybe i do expect too much. *sad look* Sigh...i so want to feel special.

In short

2007-09-30T21:53:00.000+08:00

Life has been rather tiring. i'm tired of not doing things i want to do. tired of not having enough means to. tired of constantly working, although i do love my job. And lastly, tired of not being really happy. this isnt a cry for help, not really. But i do miss being carefree...restless again. i want to travel. i want to see the world. How much will i be able to? I cant stay at home, people always shouting, demanding, not listening. I wanna go, but where to? sigh. wish i had my own place, my own little niche of peace and quiet...anyone wanna join me? :) i can cook and iron, not big on cleaning thou. grin.

Falling

2007-09-30T21:50:00.000+08:00

How does it feel to be falling in love with someone?
A little wierd? A little confusing? Would u think abt the person a lot? would u smile when u think abt him? Would u let him go if u think its the right thing? Would u keep him by ur side if you had a choice? Would u be able to trust him? Would you be happy without him? Or would u rather spend life happily sitting my his side? Tell me.

Theatre

2007-09-08T17:44:00.000+08:00

Guess what...
i'm in OT on a saturday afternoon...had my first meal here, and now...i decided to blog...so many things have happened...
I witnessed my first code blue, went for my second week of night shift, did my last few portable cases, and so many others i dont remember...
have been watching a new drama which has gotten me thinking...
and i dunno man...life has certainly been taking on a new look for me...i'm learning to see things in yet another manner...i'm not sure how much i like this yet...but i guess...i'll live with it for now.
Yup...got my 2gb mini sd card finally...now i'm just waiting for the R4...niwaez...its NDSL talk...or maybe i'll get another adapter for my NDSL...hmmm...we'll see which is cheaper. *grin*
Hi valerie...i'm missing ur e-mails...nice way to B**** abt things which i experience...wahahaha... even better coz i'd be able to complain abt a certain someone and u'd understand what i was saying...wahahaha...
Well...i guess i'll do another update soon...i'm sorta feeling jittery...tata...

Taiwan part 2

2007-08-19T23:21:00.000+08:00

Alright...another update on the tai wan trip...

On a short boat trip...

i found her...so cute right?

Hakka street

Restaurant in a tree. literately.

Facinating toilets they have

Two people i cant get enough of

Some Temple decorations?

My Brother...erm...cum Sister...*grinz*

Sleep time.

Largest tank i know

2007-08-14T23:38:00.000+08:00

I'm too lazy to type after uploading....so let the pictures do the talking. Its WL's birthday celebration..so valerie...if u make it here...this is for u. :)

Spa retreat

Little nibblers

Big nibblers

We're suppose to feed them, its supposed to relax us this way....

up close nibblers

Together now

Hairy legs are NOT mine

one foot

small predators

ok Here's how u feed the fishes
Step 1, prepare the bait

Step 2, they'd nibble the heel

Step 3, ATTACK!

Too painful?

Nah...

They did our feet!

He did my foot

He Did WL's Foot

Next Stop UNDERWATER WORLD...the largest fish tank i know!
Star Fishy

Manta Ray!

Ancient shells!

Sea Angels

So will it be black pepper or chilli?

WL in tunnel

Gracie the DUGONG!

Fishy fishy fishy

Fishy?

I made a picnic dinner!

i Liked my burger

Doesnt look like he enjoyed it eh?

random pics!

Long Taxi Queue Home

After 1/2 hour wait

Taxi Queuing to WAIT FOR CAUCASIAN passengers!

WL after ages of waiting *LOL*

And thats all folks!

Overdued

2007-08-05T21:10:00.000+08:00

Long awaited post....
photos from taiwan...small part...coz my sis wanna use com...enjoy urselves! Whoever's reading this...*waves*

Wierd stuff....from this street market...i totally dunno the chinese names...sowwwiiieeee...

Huge worm

Marvin and des feeding each other...*grin*

Guess what this was for?

Tinest mouse?

Baby with 2 mouths...

CKS memorial

Steve and me!

Changing of guards parade

Changed guards. Cuter ones...lol

Ye liu...I was sick on this day...stomach flu...bus sick...all sorts of nonsense...puked all over WL...lol...but still managed not to waste money....bravely walked out of the bus...hoping i wont fall on my face. HA.

WL and me....

More lumpy rocks...

Orca's tail?

The queen from afar

Stevyn attempting to kiss said queen

Me hoping she wont topple...lol...they told me her neck was getting thinner.

Nice ocean.

Nature's ashtray? Tsk Tsk.

Taiwan's political scene

More CKS memorial...

I totally adore these aunties...they provided some entertainment.

The WHOLE tour group, minus the taiwan tour guide...He was superb by the way...

Me and grace...she was taking care of me...hoping i wont faint and give her the whole room by herself whilst i visit the taiwan hospitals...lol...kidding.

Last meal in taiwan...although i took pic only halfway...

will be posting more pictures...Soon. heh. tata.

After happily ever afters

2007-07-11T15:49:00.000+08:00

Recently,
1) I just had my grad ceremony.
2) My cousin's grandpa just passed on.
3) I've begun to think a lot.
4) I've begun to realise how fruitless it is sometimes to want things ur way.
5) I realise how stupid it is to simply give up.
6) I read Jane's blog, saw her pictures and i wanna go KRABI

yup, life in short. Our life is so small, so insignificant that it is easily distinguished. But the very same life is so powerful that, it can do so much, both to hurt and to heal. The choice to do either is in ur hands. so. what would u do?

2007-07-03T20:51:00.000+08:00

I took these a while back when i saw how beautiful they were.

Recently, things havent been as great for me. i had my birthday...but i was disappointed. Not because i was hoping for something glamourous...but because the very people i expected to be there for me 24/7...haiz.

how much change can a person undergo b4 a person becomes someone entirely? Vonne's still Vonne, underneath all that you see. Why is it that when i do the things that people do...i get the backlash simply because its "not something Vonne would do"? I've changed, Yes...but does that make me someone so hard to live with? Why is it everyone can change and still keep their friendships, but when Vonne changes...the closest people, the ones i've always felt were family by choice...start to slowly take 2 steps back with every step i take forward? i wasnt only sad. devestated. i'm only thankful that Grace isnt walking backwards. although she doesnt disagree.

they say i've become more impulsive. that i've stopped caring. these 3 words, Oblivious, Impulsive, Complacent. They cut deeper than anything i've heard said abt me. not simply coz of what the words represent, but because of the people who delivered them. haiz... I've been told to think abt the reason these words were said. but i cant seem to get this one reasoning out of my head. have i really changed to the point where they cannot live with my but would rather live w/o? Am i so unimportant that the change would simply push them away so? i've changed. not coz i purposely want to. who would? i've changed coz of what i've had in life. the many disappointments, sadness, EVERYTHING>>>ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why cant u guys understand that life never waits, life never cares abt ur feelings, life NEVER GIVES you much of a choice but to simply DEAL! ARGH.............................................................................................................................

Grace...what can i say. Hurting isnt the only emotion, confusion, rage, a whole lot of others... but at the end of the day...i'm starting to realise that you cant really choose the people u love. Gracie...i'm sorry i never appreciated u more. ;,(

For all those whom i've neglected. i'm sorry...there is only one me. there's only so much i can give...i'm so tired. just simply so tired. haiz.

Retraction

2007-06-18T22:31:00.000+08:00

i took out some photos from my prev entry. Grace said it wasnt ethical....so.....they're gone. Niwaez. Shrugz.

Some photos

2007-06-13T20:56:00.000+08:00

Decided to update my blog...here're some random photos...hope they make u smile.
there's cutie, sweetie, and milo. the three dogs which Charmaine has...i tutor Charmaine...aint the dogs cute? hopefully someday i'll get my own!

Well...i'm in OT now...here's how i look like with the NEW SCRUBS...imagine how happy i was when i saw that i had new clothes to wear! totally like i went shopping and had new nice smelling things to wear. Awesome!

The Dear HCAs who helped me through my first week at portable, Aunty Lim and Mira. i'd be totally lost w/o them. Well...there's still Uncle Wahab...but i didnt get a picture of him. Maybe soon la.

Here's where i spent part of my first day at work. The staff clinic! i wasnt sick...but desmond had to go take jab...so i happen to want to "take time off work" so i went. *lol* Ah ya...orientation day...nothing much to do also.

Here's Des walking into the toilet. but my focus isnt him...its more the pretty toilet signs...reminded me of the signs in Taiwan.

My very first offical pay advice from SGH. The unopened version and the opened one. *LOL*

Well...nothing much to add anymore...maybe when i have more random pictures eh...tata.

Wat a life

2007-06-04T20:19:00.000+08:00

Mood swings seem to be my forte these days...at work i can summon enough energy to keep me going..but when it comes to the people in my family...or WL...i dont seem to have any patience for them...my family seem to want me to do this and do that...and if i dun want to...they get upset with me and say i'm ungrateful. alright...in thier defence...its many many different instances mixed together...and i've not exactly been the easiest person to be around.
As for WL...poor thing. i can honestly say ya...i love him. but sometimes i feel like my wants dont mean as much as his...its like...the things i want, he wont do if he doesnt want to...and the things he wants...i dun wanna do also end up doing. it would be nice if its reciprocated...or even appreciated...but den...it may simply be coz i'm mood swinging thats why i think this way. it doesnt change the fact that i like to have my way.
Work has been alright if not tiring lately...i'm onto the OT now...lead aprons...II machines...monitors...etc etc etc...back ache seems inevitable....shrugz... i'm just feeling rather down now...shan't continue...tata

Hello Career

2007-05-24T20:42:00.000+08:00

I'm officially SGH's slave...alright...cut the drama...my ATM account is officially SGH's atm account...accept that i can only draw certain amount per month. HA.....beat that.
niwaez...i'm too lazy to post photo right now...work is tirng...i'm on PORTABLE...woo...kinda fun...but that means i'm in inpatient...not so fun...although there are perks...i like my trainer...and somehow...being trainee is sorta assuring...accept that i have to do my portable rounds myself from saturday...in the trainer's wordsi'm supposed to be pro of portable come saturday...woe is me...halp...
I'm freaking scared of passing my own films...o man...cant get used to it...wat if i screw up? sheet...not good. *shakes head* and den Gary talked abt learning how to do IV. i hate needles...how do i poke someone else with one? *faints* thud.
niwaez...i'll post taiwan pics soon la...wait till i get the whole bunch. wahahaha...but i wont borther with wat we did...just entertain u with stories...i cant really remember already...i only remember puking my guts out. *grin*
niwaez...i gtg AGAIN...thats the problem of shared coms...i want my own....*whines*
its 0800 to 1400 tmr...woohoo...short day...den tuition...and finally...sleep. zzzzzzz...never knew i could feel deprived...i miss 12hr sleep shifts already. tsk tsk.

Look see

2007-05-18T11:40:00.000+08:00

O ya...i realised the the names on the prev post cant be seen...u can highlight the boxes...like the japanese name...den u can see it...adios...

BlogThings

2007-05-18T10:21:00.000+08:00

Decided to take a page outta Jane's blog and have a bit of fun...hope u dont mind girl...

Your Body Image is 20% Unhealthy, 80% Healthy

You have a great body image. You know that no one looks perfect, and you're happy the way you are.Also, you don't judge other people on their looks... and it helps them feel better about their own bodies!

How's" Your Body Image?

I guess its mostly coz i dont bother...LOL

Your Summer Ride is a Beetle Convertible

Fun, funky, and a little bit euro.You love your summers to be full of style and sun!

What's" Your Summer Ride?

I like...VVVRRROOOMMMMM

Your Japanese Name Is...

Maiko Rokujochigusa

What's" your Japanese Name?

I cant pronounce it even.

You Are 40% Intuitive

You're definitely an intuitive person, but you never go on your gut alone.You tend to be more analytical than intuitive - possibly because your intuition has failed you in the past.When you don't have enough facts to make a decision, you don't mind listening to your gut to figure out what to do.

How Intuitive Are You?

Really now...

You Are a Natural Beauty!

You're the kind of beauty that every guy dreams about...One that looks good in the morning - without a stich of makeupThat's doesn't mean you're a total hippie chic thoughYou have style, but for you, style is effortless

What Type of Beauty Are You?

Another way of saying i'm Bo Chap?

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires.
And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek.
You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships.
It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Wahahahaha...

You Are 70% Peaceful

You are a very peaceful person. All is good in your world, no matter what's going on.Occasionally you let your problems get to you, but you generally remain upbeat.Your inner strength is inspirational - much more so than you may realize.

How Peaceful Are You?

I guess...

You Are 48% Open Minded

You aren't exactly open minded, but you have been known to occasionally change your mind.You're tolerant enough to get along with others who are very different...But you may be quietly judgmental of things or people you think are wrong.You take your own values pretty seriously, and it would take a lot to change them.

How Open Minded Are You?

Thats a bit surprising...

Your Boobies' Names Are...

Blouse bunnies

Boobies' Name Generator

Thats a laugh...

What Your Underwear Says About You

You're a total rebel who doesn't conform to any rules. P.S. - It's a jungle down there!
You're also way too lazy to do your laundry more than a few times a year.

The Underwear Oracle

Thats a laugh...

You Are: 60% Dog, 40% Cat

You are a nice blend of cat and dog.You're playful but not too needy. And you're friendly but careful.And while you have your moody moments, you're too happy to stay upset for long.

Are You More Cat or Dog?

Doggies!!!!

Crap...this is addictive...

Your Power Color Is Red-Orange

At Your Highest:
You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth.
At Your Lowest:
You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked.
In Love:
You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve.
How You're Attractive:
You are very affectionate and inspire trust.
Your Eternal Question:
"Am I Respected?"

What's Your Power Color?

I like that colour...

Your Geek Profile:

Academic Geekiness: Low
Fashion Geekiness: Low
Gamer Geekiness: Low
Geekiness in Love: Low
General Geekiness: Low
Internet Geekiness: Low
Movie Geekiness: Low
Music Geekiness: Low
SciFi Geekiness: Low

How Geeky Are You?

I couldnt be happier...den again...i dont do most of what they ask...so...YAY...i'm not a geek. nodz.

Your Inner Blood Type is Type A

You seem cool and collected, though a bit shy.
You are highly driven and a perfectionist, but that's a side you keep to yourself.
Creative and artistic, you are a very unique person who doesn't quite fit in.
People accept you more than you realize, seeing you as trustworthy and loyal.

You are most compatible with: A and AB

Famous Type A's: Britney Spears and Hilter

What's Your Inner Blood Type?

Wat a kick...Hitler AND Britney Spears...LOL

Your Kisses Are Medium-Hot

Your kisses are definitely sexy, but you're not about to make anyone gasp for air.
You take it slow and steady... and you ramp things up when you get the right signals.
Your kissing style is adaptable and adept. And people who kiss you love it!

How Hot Are Your Kisses?

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha...ok

Your Famous Movie Kiss is from The Empire Strikes Back

"Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited."

What Famous Movie Kiss Are You?

Jeez...i wonder what that means

Your Girl Parts Are Named:

Fluffy

Girl Parts Name Generator

I didnt get wat girl parts meant until i saw the picture...jeez...Fluffy? o man.

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational.
You are also giving and kind - a great friend.
You are easy going and trusting.
However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

Bah...general things dont mean squat.

You Are Not Messy

You're so clean, people have accused you of being a clean freak!
You like things tidy, organized, and smelling fresh.
Messes drive you crazy, especially when you didn't make them.
It's hard for you to live with a slob - or someone who leaves their dishes in the sink.

Are You Messy?

Ha...tell WL that...

Your Life Path Number is 5

Your purpose in life is to life freely and collect experiences.

You love life - new adventures, new people, new ideas.
You are very curious, and you crave novelty in all forms.
You tend to make friends easily, and you enjoy the company of all types of people.

In love, you are fun and even a bit intoxicating. But you won't stick around for long.

You are impulsive and spontaneous - which sometimes leads you to do things you regret.
Sometimes you can be overindulgent with food, sex, or drugs.
You have many talents, so many that you are often scattered and unfocused.

What Is Your Life Path Number?

ok.

Your Love Number is 1

You tend to be a stubborn lover, holding your ground in every argument
You take your time falling in love. You aren't the type to lose perspective.
You are loyal (to a fault), and you require the same loyalty in your sweetheart.
At your best, you are a wise and inspiring partner - who sticks around.

What Is Your Love Number?

shrugz

You Are 42% Bitchy

Generally, you're an average woman, with average moods. But sometimes... well, watch out!
Sometimes, you let your mean side get the better of you. And you enjoy every minute of it.

How Bitchy Are You?

Bitch bitch botch slop slurp....grin

You Are Jean Grey

Although your fate is often unknown, you always seem to survive (even after death).
Your mind is your greatest weapon, literally!

Powers: telepathy and telekinesis, the ability to project thoughts into the mind of others, communication with animals

Which of the X-Men Are You?

Well...i'd rather Rogue...but Jean is my Second choice! yay...

You Belong in Fall

Intelligent, introspective, and quite expressive at times...
You appreciate the changes in color, climate, and mood that fall brings
Whether you're carving wacky pumpkins or taking long drives, autumn is a favorite time of year for you

What Season Are You?

Yay....Thats mine....Autumn....Grinz.

You Are More Mild Than Wild

You're confident, and you really aren't concerned with how "hot" you are.
Other people's ideas of what's sexy don't concern you. And this is exactly what makes you attractive.

Are You Hot?

ok so i cant go tttsssssssssss.....

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

What's Your Personality Type?

I'm a Radiographer...how?

And lastly...

Your Chances of Being a Multimillionaire: 56%

You have a decent shot at being a multimillionaire. Surprised?
You're confident and a hard worker. Keep it up!

Will You Be a Multimillionaire?

When will the first million ever appear i wonder...
welll this has gone on long enough...will blgo abt taiwan soon...when i get all the pictures...grunt. tata...

At Changi

2007-05-09T14:53:00.000+08:00

I'm at the airport now...on the way to taiwan...been waiting for the flight for ages...the keyboard sucks...but i'm happy i get to use the com...wanted to write last night...niwaez...they've announced that our flight will be late NOW...haiz...ah well...wat can we do...niwaez....Grace is HERE.....

cute guy at 11oclock in suit and hairband!

Vonne will take picture and upload as soon as i'm able. TATA

And there were 4

2007-05-05T02:39:00.000+08:00

It started with Grace and I. I think we bonded over talks of our fav food. I think. Grace...correst me if i'm worng k. And den...there was the crush on the same guy. Although i didnt say anything coz she liked him first. Heh.

Afterwards...i dont remember anything else but the fact that i've got a new friend! the talks...the letters...the secret codes... *LOL* U have to be female to get it. the best part of all was that we could finish each other's sentences and even got mistaken for twins! Den we doubed ourselves twins and wished we were real ones. Female thing.

It was around the end of the year when we were all drafted into the prefect groups. i was in PA crew!! Woo...best time of my life.

Me...Grace...at 15 i think.

The prefectorial board gave me two more of my Fav girls... Ser and Micx... We were in PA crew together...although Grace had to go be some group's leader... and den somehow...since i liked being with all of them...i tot...why not try and see if everyone got along. and i totally didnt think they wouldnt. Laughs...talks...secrets...disappointments...break-ups...tears...we had them all!

Den there were nick names and group diaries! (which i still have!) and somwhow...although there was a rocky start...we made it... It was these people who allowed me to have the girly girly things. And thats how the JC people think i was from a girls' school. *LOL*

Prefect Investiture, not ours yet...and we're in front of the fountain our then principle was so proud of. seriously proud of...

Us lining up to go into the chapel for the investiture...i circled us out.

And den somehow...we graduated. We told ourselves that no matter what...we refuse to lose touch. And somehow...we didnt. Den...17 became 18...and 19 and...21!

At Sammy's 21st... The 4 girls matter here...sammy's sorta an extra. *LOL* i'm only actually half kidding. =)

No idea where micx went at that time. heh

And Den somehow...We've lasted...and i do so hope that we will for a long time to come.
i Love ma gurls...*grinz*

We were called Seasons. ok...secondary school thingy.

Every girl's a Princess? Esp the ones we love. =) adios. nitez. Miss ya all. We're 22 and i still want to have our girly meetings when we turn 60. ;)

The perils of being nice

2007-05-01T13:23:00.000+08:00

u know...i really love having holidays...but it seems like i just cant stop being bored...i miss serene...miss mich...miss GRACE!!!! but they're all STUDYING!!!!!!!! ARGH!!! i wanna go have girls day out...but i dont dare ask coz all got exams or studying...
poly friends are not really applicable coz somehow they dont seem to want to be girly with me. *HUGE sigh* its that or they complain that i'm too freaking nice, that i'm so nice it seems fake!
i seriously wonder wat's wrong with being nice. Do i hafta scream in ur face all the time for u to think i'm a decent person???!!! Or should i bitch and complain and whine all the time? o i know...i should prob go WTF like every other sentence right? Jeez man...i'm very proud to say my parents taught me otherwise...and if u like WTF so much...go F*** urself...Grrrrr...
whine whine whine...complain complain complain...ya the world would be a better place if everyone complains, not one listens and nothing gets done right. F***. So there i used the F word 4 times. i'm probably deem on the way to be a freaking normal person. Huh. tsk.

More pictures

2007-04-20T03:13:00.000+08:00

Here are more pictures...enjoy...*yawnz*

At the marine park

Cheryl n me. We finally look like we're related. no?

Me and WL...*LOL*

Platform where we rest after being mauled by the darn fishes. *LOL*

These were taken on the way back to the resort after the trip

Cheryl

ARGH...cold?

Yay...we survived being nubbled on by FISHES!

Braving the winds

OK so i like the kissy face....

Tada...thats all folks...i'm beat. tata...till next post...*kissy face*

Pictures!

2007-04-20T02:03:00.000+08:00

Well...here are pictures. just not in order. i can seem to get them to be anyway. BAH.

Camera whoring whilst we wait for our boat to take us to our snorkling location...this is Day 2.

ME!!!!!

WL's DOTA friends...they so happened to be at tioman too!

My Sis. i think la

Dear WL

And again

And once more

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Both of us

Dead bird floating...*LOL* i thought it was catching fish at first...den i realised the fishes weren't swimming away...stupid...

Fishy fishy fishy......

After snorkling...

Cheryl. no picture of WJ...sorry...

WL being Manly...showing the patch of hair under his arm *grinz*

Here i am...deciding i want to be seen too...*grinz*

Whilst waiting for the Ferry...to take us to TIOMAN island...

From this picture onwards...i dun really know which day was which...*lol*

The DEAD coral reefs are behind me.

The Signboard...DUH...and the the the... DINING AREA! muhahaha...

WL in front of the Signboard...lol

This is how our lodging looks like but this isnt our...its the one next to ours. *LOL* if u look really closly...u can see a lady wrapped in a towel. *LOL* she glared at me when i took this picture!

The other one is the lodge. Where u rent beds instead of a room. nodz. cheaper version.

THESE are what our lodging looked like. GRINZ

Alright...some scenery and more pictures of the DEAD corals and rock pools when the tide is low.

These were taken when we went out to sea...on our snorkling trip! Superb. The wierd thing was that everytime we travelled to a new spot on the island...It rained! BUT...its really cool sitting at the helm of the ship when the rain is pounding down on you...and u're only in ur life jacket and bikini. at least i was. *LOL* SHIOK ah...*ROFL* ok i found that funny...nvm.

ops...more corals... i mixed the pictures up...sowwiee

Bah...Tagged. You're it.

2007-04-14T12:57:00.000+08:00

Alright. i have been tagged. Crap. Now i actually have to use brains.
Here goes, hang on tight.

Rule of the game: each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own 10 weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks!

1. Erm...i have this total obsession with food. You know how some people NEEDS cleanliness? i have this thing where i'm constantly afraid that i'd run outta food. I just need it somewhere, in my bag, on the table watever. it has to be near, and the best thing is, i dont have to actually BE eating it. Ha~

2. I hate to be dirty and i hate to be clean. When i'm clean, a speck of dust freaks me out. When i'm enjoying myself being dirty, pls think seawater swimming and treking dirty, the thought of bathing irks me. Really irks me. *grinz*

3. I think the whole world is a comedy. Seriously. I laugh at mostly anything. It cracks me up when someone farts. *ROFL* Its not so much the smell, but the expression on the person's face. Sorta stunned when there's a poot sound. *ROFL*

4. I'm really picky when it comes to appearance. (i know i dont look it. WL will absolutely say i'm NOT) There's a certain way i think people should look for a certain occasion. And if i cant get the look i want, den i wont bother. i'll just grab the first thing outta my closet. really *nodz* explains why i wear stupid colours eh.

5. I cannot sit still.

6. I actually think i'm humongous. Like super fat huge. The female sumo. I hate it. :'( Worse...it sucks when people think the same. *sobz*

7. Cannot drink and walk at the same time. i'll choke. so i guess it means i cannot multi-task? *LOL*

8. Reading is my escape from the real world. i constantly have at least one book with me at home. O ya, i cant shit if i'm not reading. heh. the shit doesnt come out. ok too much info.

9. I like kinky stuff. they facinate me. REALLY facinates me.

10. I still believe in Santa and fairies and mutant powers and magic and happily ever afters. Ya. So what?

I'm tagging, Sab, Ben, Stevyn, Jane (YC) , Mella, Richard. Muhahaha...have fun.

2007-04-12T22:04:00.000+08:00

This is my FYP group. was taken when FYP presentation finished. all the sweat was worth it. somewhat.

My baby and me. dont i look short? *grinz* so cool. he looks 1/2 a head taller than me! Woo.

i dont have anymore. *laughs* will post when i do. ta~

Concentrated

2007-04-12T21:59:00.000+08:00

I'm back from Tioman!
But...i wish i were still there...sobz.
i miss island life already...sigh. the sun, sand, sea and the company. I had WL to myself for the 3d2n trip. totally awesome. its been too long since i had only him to concentrate on. and well...its nice being someone's focus point for a few days. being taken care of, having to take care of...simply being with him. the best part of it all? the really nice walks (short ones) down the shops and looking up to see the stars. it was really nice. and there were so many many stars! *happy sigh* i'd go back anytime, if not for island life, den for the chance to simply be with WL. really. its great. will update with pictures when i get them. for now...i'm still gushing abt the alone time with WL. o ya...my sis and WJ was there too. *LOL*
*dreamy look*

Tsk tsk

2007-03-31T19:08:00.000+08:00

Life is supposed to be a constant flurry of papers, words in blacks and whites. the constant music at the background is good. so are the small little tidbits lying around the house.
What it is, is actually constant sneaks at the telly, constant drone of the radio, endless attraction to my lovely lovely mattress and the rest of the day spent in dreamland. Gosh...at this moment, i'm actually watching Mr bean try to draw a nude! Wahahaha....super funny...if u disregard the fact that i'm supposed to be studying. BAH....
Saturday's finishing. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and my poly life would be over. totally over with nothing holding me back. unless of coz if i fail. which i certainly hope NOT. dun wanna do any sub papers nor extra sem. i wanna graduate just like everyone else...which means i gotta hit the books AGAIN...
Nuclear med is sooooooo boring. its so boring i fell alseep the first time i attempted to read the first 6 slides. gawd...so far i managed 6 chapters...o man...i'm damn slow...the whole world's probably already completed it all. yikes.

a broken rainbow

2007-03-25T16:30:00.000+08:00

I feel sad today.
i'm not sure what brought this emotion, but i feel sad. its like my heart has this ache which wouldnt go away. thinking back, the 3 years in NYP had so many ups and downs. i made friends, but how many of them are true friends? i think i can count with just one hand. i found love, but its been peppered with so many uncertainties that i'm not sure what to expect from it.
i constantly feel like my world is too small to hold me in. there is SO much out there which i've yet to experience. i know i would not be content with staying at one place. i know that my goal in life is not simply to have babies. i wanna do so much more. i wanna shine! i wanna help, i wanna make a difference. but besides trying in my small corner of the world...i wanna try elsewhere. i wanna be where i can simply unleash this annoying frustration. i feel like i have a lot of pent up energy...it takes one press of a button to let it out. but i cant find the frigging button. i dont understand it.
and i still feel sad. sad for people who aint having the best times of their lives...sad for those who are alone. sad for those who think no one cares...and finally...sad for those who dont know their own mind. i love life so much that i cannot imagine why people complain all the time. i'm not saying i dont. honestly, i complain too...
the thing is...all around me, i hear people saying things like, this person is not doing this, that person is not here, those people are not pulling their weight. if she can get away with not doing, why should i do? he's not doing anything, why should i do den? yada yada yada... i probably add my voice to the complains now and again...what i dont get is why do we even do so in the first place? why is there the need to fight with each other when the ultimate goal is one which benefits us all...and for those who dont pull their weight...why? dont u know that the people working with u will KNOW???? why do people constantly sprout nasties. constantly talk behind people's backs and try to sow discord. is there a need to?
i simply dont understand. is it that hard to just love?

Thin Red Line

2007-03-20T23:06:00.000+08:00

Why is it when i'm on the brink of being nice, something has to come up to annoy me? how much more am i supposed to tolerate? i have a limit. and i too will bite. GRRRRRR......

bareback.birthdays.boys.blarmy

2007-03-18T21:09:00.000+08:00

alright...i tot that it totally looked like the lady wasnt wearing anything. took the picture for fun. cool eh? *grinz*

On friday...we celebrated Mich's and Mishi's B-daes...*grin*

Fish n Co provided a really entertainin evening...our two michelles stood on chairs despite dress and 3/4 pants...*grin*

there were sparklers and merry making...songs and laughters...we had fun, a great cake (i got it...muhahah...its cake...i dont go wrong...) and plenty of laughters...i was really high...coz i missed having these people around me...people i know will never be upset with me for long... people who...somehow or another will end up taking care of me more than hurting me...i miss it.

Well...the pictures will show u a bit of wat was. *grin*
The b-dae cake with candles

The b-dae cake w/o candles
Mishi smiling with cake in front of her.
Mishi with a lighted candle in her head! No i'm kidding. lol. its mishi thou. picking the candle out with her mouth.

Mich picking the candle out with her mouth now.
Both of them on the chairs with sparkles being handed to them.
Both of them having fun?

Cut Cake!

I just spent 15 hours of my life watching a drama. i totally loved it...until the last 5 minutes. BAh. It abt a girl going into a guy's school bcoz of a guy she saw on tv...and fell in love with. alright...it'll probably not happen in real life...but...it was super entertaining to watch. The eye candies werent too bad either considering the fact that the story is set in a BOYs" school! woo... *grin* i liked XiuYi...but coz they were totally featuring Quan...i fell in tv love with him too...*swoon* he just has to ask...and i'll say yes! anything man...anything...woo...grin...of coz he has to give that killer smile and all too. yum. slurp. ops...sry WL...its just TV yea...*grin*

Sigh...to be surrounded by the friends u trust most, to be able to get into naughty trouble with them ALL the time...and to be able to live in the same dorm ROOM with the guy of your dreams...*dreamy sigh* it;s totally DEE life...unless of coz...u're constantly aware that if the school finds out...u're totally kicked out. *grin* plus the fact that the uni degree will NOT look good on me...precisely coz of the fact that i dont have a winky. *evil laughter*
the female lead was also this totally super native girl...wahaha...she didnt even know that the guy she was bunking with (the man of her dreams) already KNOW that she's female...but didnt tell on her coz he didnt wanna let her go...*dreamy sigh* again...why isnt my life THAT exciting?

well the final leg of the 3 year journey is here. how far can we jump? how fat can we run...most importantly...how well will we be remembered? Cheers mates! Do tag...the board wont bite. ;)

Finishing line

2007-03-08T00:40:00.000+08:00

I think i'm past the incident whereby i was annoyed with this person.
Somehow i've stopped caring, abt the actions and ways...it only serves to amuse me now...amusement...its pretty entertaining...to see how many ways my mind can run amok.
*rubz hands*
now...i cant think of anything horrible to do to this person. I just hope that any damage...if any...would be repaired..and soon...
its finally finished...the wasted energy is done...i'm so over it...i dont really care wat u are trying to do now. not much. *shrugz* i hope u are happy...and i hope u'll have a happy life. i asked u once why we werent better friends since we knew each other before this...but u told me that its prob coz we werent meant to be that close or something...at that time it sorta hurt my feelings...i wanted to be better friends...but i guess...knowing you for who u are...its not that we cant be...its just that u didnt want to try. i thought u were worth it. but i guess u didnt share my view for me. *shrugz* its past now...i'm not petty...lets just hope that one day...we can shake on this and have it resolved.

In abt 3 and 1/2 weeks...it'll be end game. no more lectures, no more homework, no more rushing datelines. Its drawing near. are u ready? Be afraid...be very afraid...muhahahaha...

Got taken from the back!

2007-03-04T23:05:00.000+08:00

No i wasnt Shitting... i was at ikea and i found the toilet bowl thingy rather convenient... was just trying it out for myself...and my sister decided to whip out her phone to show the world that i'm sitting on the toilet bowl in the middle of a showroom...Ha~

Tee Hee...

I was taken by the back...my sister did the dirty work...she caught me unawares..

I was busy trying to find a way out of the maze we were in....and yet...and yet...by my own sister...the one who shares a room with me...the very same one i watched grow up...the one who i constantly threaten abt shaving eyebrows...the one whose eyebrows i would shave if she disturbed me...the one whose MILK BOTTLE i held when mama told me to...the one...ok u get the picture....

She...She...She...took a picture of me from the behind...

*wahahahah* and although she callls it The Sexy Back, i only see one thing...this same thing i was plagued with since the very day i was born...the very thing i cannot stand when i want to buy pants...

MY BUTT!!!!

isnt it just simply SOOOOO obvious in THIS PICTURE????!!!!!! o man....shucks....

Just another reminder of how much my butt has grown....pretty soon i may hafta name it. Bleah. Why do other people grow larger boobs but i get a larger butt when i grow fat? the world is SOOOOO unfair. HRMPH...

I shall go wallow in butt-pity now...tata...

Seductive? Or not?

2007-03-02T11:36:00.000+08:00

http://www.seductiveshorts.com/#goods/quiz
i took this quiz, its kinda wacky. Click on he icons and answer your questions. *grinz* have fun.

Of Socks, Jaws, and broken things.

2007-03-02T09:58:00.000+08:00

I got my glasses run over by a bike!
I hung it on my bottle, coz it was raining and i didnt want the glasses to be splattered with rain while i was wearing it. I know it will still be splattered with rain but i just didnt want it to be on my face. Nvm...its an Yvonne thing. Niwaez...the glasses droppe without me knowing...i was plugged into my mp3. i walked a dist b4 i realised it was gone. den i went back to look for it. Gosh...when i found it...it was pitiful. One of my lens already popped out of the socket. The other one cracked in two different places. sigh...
You can look at the pictures i posted. *sobz* my close to $200 bucks glasses...and now its gone...not even one year old. WAAAAAHHHHH......

Moving on...

I wanted to sock someone in the jaw yesterday. Actually two someones. But i'm glad i didnt.
This time...i merely walked away from what was bothering me and went to my Twinie. *waves* Hi grace! i'm glad i did...coz grace pointed out that i may just be having and emotional moment. not in exact words thou. But...but...but...argh..i still wonder how it feels to pull hair and sock jaws. man...must be awesome to be able to lose control and NOT be hurled into jail for that one moment of estacy. Den i wont even bother walking away. *LOL*

But somehow...i'm glad i walked away. I saw enough of what i needed to see. Remember i prayed to let go? I also prayed for Him to lemmie see wat i was supposed to see, to make the decisions i need to. I've seen quite a bit, and yesterday's incident was just another one. Nothing negative tagged to these infomation thou, its just a means of collecting knowledge, and making the decision i need to. In law and Admin, its the getting all the information to make an informed decision part. Like they said, lets watch and see. :)

My two year anniversary wasnt all that great. It was on the 24th, i didnt post coz i wasnt too happy abt the way things played out. I met him on the 25th to pass WL his present. As it turns out, he wasnt feeling too well, and i was too excited. I was the epitome of happy for a while, while he wasn't exactly the nicest person to be around with at that moment (did a header in the morning and was suffering the after effects at this point). So when happy meets sullen, and happy's mood was spoiled...well...u can guess what happened. ended up quarreling at starbucks after he opened his present. *sigh* wat a way to spend the 2 year mark. He didnt look too happy when he opened his present. *sobz* Den after the squabble was over, he told me it was coz he wasn't too happy abt the money i spent. knowing that i'd probably be super broke. Yup, he was afraid i couldnt feed me. *LOL* nice gesture at the wrong timing i guess...well...its a past incident now...lets hope that any other anniversaries after, if they happen, will be much better than this one. Ha~

Someone said i'm not a tactful person. Really? I've never thought so, but i guess the things i do make it seem that way. Probably coz i dont mince my words sometimes. I dont feel the need to at certain times, to certain people. Thats probably coz i really want wat i say to make an impact. At other times...i mince my words so much that the other person doesnt even know wat really happens. How tactful is a person supposed to be when she's annoyed? I admit that i lash out with sarcasm. And i don't hold back much. But was i supposed to be tactful when i'm annoyed? Sometimes i wish someone would answer my questions thru the tagboard. *hint hint* but the tagboard seems to not be working properly.....*shakes head* So...am i an untactful person? i'd really like to know.

O ya...Hi Huips *waves* i know u read sometimes...just wanted to say hi. *LOL* Oh...i saw XinYi last night...she's still looking great! :) tata.

Mean mean great big machine

2007-02-24T01:32:00.000+08:00

Today, i behaved a lil mean at someone...
Wahahaha...but i got to say that i was enjoying every minute of it. *grinz* and besides...i was only a lil mean...and if that person wasnt trying to be funny..why look away? *ROFL* at this point WL will prob say "diao" and like give the stupid face he's so capable of giving...*LOL*
niwaez...i'm glad i did wat i did...*grinz* its like..hey...i'm onto you...and now u know it too. Awesome...let the games begin...
O...regarding what we were talking abt earlier...no WL..its NOT over u...i refuse to give u that satisfaction...after all i'm doing the suffering silently thingy...*LOL* thou i'm not too good at the silently part...but still...dont inflate the ego too much...it'll only make a louder sound when burst! *GRINZ* and its SOOOO fun. *rolls eyes*
i was doing WL's present. jeez...i do hope he likes it. *swallows visibly* if he doesnt...*shakes head* lets not comtemplate (hey WL...this word remember?) that possibility. well...i gtg now...will post a picture if i'm not too tired. bah. Tata

A dash of this and that.

2007-02-20T23:30:00.000+08:00

WL's Year...the year of the Pig...
*grin* as much as i dont wanna be mean...it kinda fitting eh? *LOL* I also know others born in the year of the pig, who totally were born in the right year. wahahaha...ya ya...i'm evil.
niwaez...enough of saying things i could be shot for...
CNY this year was full of surprises. I didnt look too fat in my outfit. *LOL* maybe just too plump. My cousins sorta grew up w/o me knowing. They all came and they didnt turn my house up-side down. *grinz* they used to make an absoulte mess. make-ups became thinner, more skillfully applied, dressing became more tasteful...although there was this one outfit i tot looked horried but i applaud the person for wearing it. *wink*

the horde this year wasnt that bad. i got pineapple tarts, prawn rolls, egg rolls, peanut tarts....etc...it's simply awesome to see my table laden with foodstuff. *grinz* o the other horde wasnt that bad either *hoots*

as usual...when gorgeous people get together...there's camera whoring.. *wink*

and as much as dark rooms were fun to be in (to see what develops, woohoo) the digital ones are much more fun to play with...instant gratification. *nodz*

here's what we have...

That's my aunt, me and her daughter. Just my cuz, sis me and another cuz.

Brenda and me Brenda and Erza doesnt it look like a plaster on his pants?

Gramps and me The ones who crap along...*LOL*

Tongue anyone? *Laughs* Female power

More cousins

And these are some of the pic i got from WL. The ones we didn't see for V-dae. Yup.

And thats all folks. Hong bao yi ge lai!

Valentine's Day and the Karma Sutra

2007-02-15T00:11:00.000+08:00

I gave my first time to WL...and Tso...and Mel! *grinz*

Ever had the karma sutra incorporated into ur dining experience? Well...the first time i experienced that, i was with the above mentioned people...*shakes head* tsk tsk...wat were u thinking? As the pictures will show later...although not clearly as they were kinda taken with my mobile camera...

the first one is what we concluded as the "only if u can do the spilt" move. Looks really tough...but i guess if the girl were flexible enough, like a dancer, and slim enough like mel...and the guy, strong enough to hold the girl in place...then the move shouldn't be too difficult...right? thats also prob why mel and tso got the plate with that move depicted.

The second one was wat mel jovially termed "doggy". WL and i got that plate instead...The waiter prob thought WL was a butt man...considering the size of mine...i'd think the waiter hit the jackpot. *grinz evily* niwaez...dinner was fun with a whole lot of laughs and stories. just like it should be with friends. you...niwaez...there's dessert...Yum...and i got mel a flower and tso a fishy. Yup. i did...the picture proves it. more pictures when i get them. now the eyes cant focus. time to go. tata.

This was dessert. i like.....

Appetiser...chicken essence soup...literately...and stuffed squid, with spinish and shitake. geez.

Tahts the after dinner gift and the flower and fish i got for mel and tso. anything else...next time...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*face falls flat on keyboard,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*

Ready, Get Set, Let Go

2007-02-11T11:19:00.000+08:00

*waves* Hey peeps...
I know my recent posts have been rather melancholy. Not sure if it would change...but i'll try my best to feel good when i post *wahahaha*
Niwaez...i was talking to a close friend recently...i was just telling him how unhappy i have been for a while...it seemed to me that things would never change for the better. den he reminded me that i havent been praying much, have been relaying too much on myself to solve the problems i have. he suggested a prayer...i dont remember the exact words...but it was about letting go...and trusting that the Lord knows what's best for me. then...i couldnt do it. i simply couldnt let go and relinquish control over such an impt part of my life...i told him that i couldnt do it. i was too afraid of losing what i so want to hold onto. his reasoning was that if i let go and still lost, den it was never meant to be mine in th e first place.
when i got home, which was abt 10min later, i took a shower, and in that small alcove in the recess of my home, (wa...i dunno where that came from) i thought things through whilst the water was pounding on me...(ok not pounding pounding...but actually streaming gently...*grinz* its my blog..i'm allowed to be drama) ok i lost my train of thought...wahahaha...serves me right for digressing...
ok...i was showering and thinking at the same time...not sure if i missed scrubbing anything (eeewwwwww) back to my story... i thought back to my conversation with my friend...and i realised that he's right...i really have three main choices...1) totally stop being with him, which i was not willing to, 2) put somemore effort into doing something abt things, like make more noise or talk to her or simply shift things around so that things would have a lesser chance of going wrong...(which i seem to be doing now...but with horrible results...and the problem with this option is that i would be making a decision to put in more of me, and probably coming out torn and tattered.) 3)let go. where i trust that the Lord would guide whatever happens because i relinquish control and trust Him... (this is the hardest but at the same time...also the easiest)
seeing my options laid out b4 me, i took the most logical...no.3...and i prayed. i prayed that He'd guide me, show me what i need to see, to make the decision best for me. show me what i need to do to make things better than they are, show me what is real, and what is my own speculation, and to give me the strength i need, to do what i must. well...i also hoped that it would hurt me as much as the other time...heh (wat? i'm human ok)
i envisioned handing over my all to him...i had an image in my mind...where i stretched out both hands cupped together and there was an infant in my hands...(ok this wasn't drama) the infant was curled up and sleeping peacefully...and i simply stretched out my hands. (alright...this so isnt funny k...i'm not losing my mind!)
since that day...i felt so much better abt things...to me...everything which happens now would be not of my control...but what is best for me. He would never hurt me...and i can only think of the good in my decision...u see...this way, i would know if 1) being with this person was really what i was meant to do. 2) she was really up to something funny or if its my own any-how-think-ness...*LOL* 3) i can trust him 4) anything happens...it would be not be of my doing but theirs.

maybe i made too much noise, maybe i thought too much, maybe i expected too much, and maybe i tried too hard. i know i've lowered my expectations so much that i find it hard to link the person i am now to the person i was b4 (but with no regrets). i've always loved with my all, and now's no different. all i want now is someone who's strong enough to match me emotion for emotion, action for words given, and the good sense to know what should be done when needed. (come on la...i hear u say...) i'm not looking for someone perfect, just someone who tries hard enough. i know that i'm worth it. and i'm gonna prove it. there's a passage in the bible which says that giving in too much is a sin...*LOL* can u believe that? i'm sure that i'm not exactly committing that sin and i do not want to start.
however i am gonna serve up a peace offering...my friendship. i always felt that it was the most impt something i could give to people outside the family-by-nature. i'm offering my friendship to her and trying my best to be nice. (which means i'll try not to imagine 1001 ways to slap her face...*LOL* never said i was perfect k...) i'm gonna put in more effort to get to know her better. and if it still doesnt work, and she still doesnt respect me enough to learn what's off limits...its not my fault anymore...*shrugz* i'd have tried.
as for him...he still has a long way to go to prove to me that he's worth staying with...tolerating my nonsense isnt the way to go...if i'm wrong, i'm wrong. dont back down from a fight just coz u dont like it. i'd never learn that way. and if i'm right, acknowledge it like a man. i dont like wusses. if u cant take it...den u aint the man i need. *raises one eyebrow* (i can do it k...the raising eyebrow thingy i mean...*grinz*) i always say that actions speak louder than words...saying isnt really gonna do much unless ur actions fit ur words... and that goes for everyone reading this post...saying the 3 words aint gonna mean anything unless u show the person that u truely mean it.
well...my bathroom has always been a sort of peace santury for me...not that i love being naked and all...but because no one would come into the bathroom and intrude on my private thoughts. at least no one physically...its a wonder i came up with all these eh...
actually i took several days...*LOL* but was simply too lazy to type it all down...
Hakunamatata...wat a wonderful word...it means no worries for the rest of ur days...its a problem-free philosopy...hakunamatata. *waves*

Beyond Words

2007-02-06T03:25:00.000+08:00

I did something i'm not sure i should have done. Said words i'm not sure i should have said. I got a reastion i was expecting, and consequence s i'm afraid i wont be able to bear. No words can signify the remorse, neither can it make things better. Sorry doesnt work anymore. i need to trust. but i find it so hard to. I used to trust. until the time when wat i felt needed to be done, wasnt done.
do i expect a lot? is it my fault? i dont feel like i've done anything wrong. yet at the same time, i know i have wronged. maybe i shouldnt have doubted when there was no reason to. have i really crossed a line i cannot turn back to? was i really so wrong to wish that you would stand up to her and make her respect me? was i so wrong to want her to know i never did anything to harm her, nor did i choose the way life works?
i hate knowing i let her get to me this way. i hate knowing i cannot trust u when it comes to her. and i hate knowing that right now, u turned away from me because of my obsession of her.
i have a million apologies to send, but will u accept them?

The nightmare before FYP

2007-02-04T13:33:00.000+08:00

I had a dream.
not one where it was all peachy, but one where i got to say what i wanted, to a person i'll never say it to. nope it wasnt a declaration of love or anything...but a confrontation. And nope it wasnt with WL...
I dont remember exactly wat was in the dream...but i do remember the person and the topic...i cannot begin to describe to u how it felt to finally be able to let all those pent up feelings go. if the phase "shoulders sagged with relief" were to be used...mine would have gone all the way to the other side of the earth! it felt great screaming at the person. almost too great. i remember being so angry i cried. i remember emptying all that unhappiness and resentment. and finally, i remembered turning around and not bothering with that person.
Now that its daylight, i know that the incident wont happen. but i'm glad my dream got it out of my system. i've said my piece, learnt that its not worth being so petty, and i also learnt that if i cannot trust someone dear to me...i can either learn how to, or help the dear person to. hopefully at the end of this incident, i'll learn something so valuable i'll never forget it. Trust is fragile, but its not vulnerable enough to let me break it stupidly. i will not apologise for what i feel, there were reasons for me to feel that way. and i will not apologise for reacting the way i did. its only me. but i will apologise for not trusting, and i will thank this dear person for continuously trying. the coming week will be trying. and i hope that it wont prove disaterous. as i will so mote it be. *grinz* i've been wanting to use that. tata.

Mama's words, grapes, birthday suit.

2007-02-01T00:57:00.000+08:00

I've never been much of a good girl. Neither have i been i mama's girl. But, there is one thing i do. i remember my mom's words and i take them to heart. She wont hurt me, neither would she want to do anything to destroy me...so...i listen, although i dont always let her know it.
She said something which greatly disturbed me today. However, her words were very similar to how i feel abt the same subject. I used to think that i was being over-sensitive. That i was bias and not rational. Her words today made me realised what i should have done right from the very beginning. Trust myself, trust my intuition.

Sour grapes has always been something i grapple with. people alwaus seem to have more than me, be better than me...do the things i wanna do but cant, experience the stuff i wanna try but cant, and be the person i wanna be but am not. This time, its not simply sour grapes like i thought it was...this time, i know that my observations are not off base. That its not me.

When 2 people get together,they either make it or they dont. i dunno the odds, but i'm guessing that the ones who make it aint that high on the percentage scale. But, when 2 people come together, whether as friends or otherwise, and u see that they not only have chemistry, and friendship, but also love and trust, what would u think?

How about when u know that the person u love doesnt really love u the way u need him to? or when u feel like he loves someone else, but is with u because it has become a habit that is hard to break? What would u do? If u know that the person u love hasnt realised that he loves someone else instead? What will you do? What can u do?

i wanna see the man i love happy. but what if i know that being with me doesnt make him happy. but instead tires him out from the squabblings and the disagreements? What if i know someone else who'd be perfect for him, in terms of size, and chemistry and importance in his life? What if? What should i do?

I dont feel like i'm important to someone, i dont feel like people respect who i am. I'm beginning to forget what it feels like to be loved and pampered, what it feels like to be cherished and taken care of. I'm beginning to stop feeling like i matter. I feel like i'm disappearing. and i feel like i'm already gone.

Stupid road is damn stupid

2007-01-27T01:15:00.000+08:00

*blows dust off blog*
After ages without anything, i finally decided that its time to update my poor blog. its been collecting an aweful lot of dust and i'm afraid my readers have all gone missing. no one tags anymore...*sad sigh* nonetheless, i will endever in my task to send forth my thoughts and annoy people. wahaha. that was nice.
school has been a flurry of meetings, mac, meetings, $2 meals, meetings, quizes, Fyp, presentations, and did i mention FYP? *breathes in and out deeply* it seems like the tutors dun want us to leave and so decides to pile us with work in the hopes of getting us to stay a semester more. *phew* its exhausting just thinking abt it. never have i been more tired of something which consumes my waking moments. *shakes head* what is the world coming to??!!
video editing is annoying. as much as i like the end product...the process is totally nerve wrecking...no offence Mel...i love u to bits...the thing is...u're in EVERY video and i have to add subtitles for every word spoken or otherwise. there's nothing wrong with that except the fact that i hear ur voice over and over and over and over again till i dreamt of it in my sleep! i dreamt of ur voice even after editing is over and well...frankly...its not an enchanting thing. plus there's also yanne's voice over and over and over again. i havent dreamt of her YET. but thats probably coz i ONLY hear her voice. bah. dont wanna have the FYP invade my dreamland!
i fought with my bro today. i punched him and he kicked me in the SP! *OUCH* well...thats coz he called me a b***h and its coz i told him that he shuld stop playing the com for the day. WTH...i was actually nice to the point where pure honey oozed out from the words. it doesnt pay to be nice i tell u...st***d feller kicked me and called me a b***h! i cant imagine what i'd have done to him if my hand didnt hurt. sheesh man...i truely saw red...really...all i wanted to do was make him a panda. one which he'd see in the mirrior for the next few days. and his smelly big foot connected with my SP! of all places...i know the trauma of being kicked in the balls now...the trauma...not the pain..coz after all...the SP isnt soft tissue. yup. for a moment i actually thought i wasnt gonna be able to sit or something...den rage took over and b4 i knew it...i was ready to pound my brother into fatty minced meat. wat a sight. i'm not proud that it happened...but i'm bloody pissed that my st***d clod of a brother took out his bad mood on me. thats stinks.

And so the year begins

2007-01-09T00:18:00.000+08:00

Well...
this is long over-due but at least its here now eh. k lets go...
2006 has been a year where i learnt a lot of stuff...it's also where a lot happened. not only to me but also to the people around me.
some poeple broke up with their other halves. and yet some others got together with new someones. relationships seem to appear and disappear so quickly it gets a little hard to keep track of them sometimes. but at the end of the day...i still believe that things happen for a very good reason. and not understanding it now may not mean that we wont understand them later in life.
there were ups and downs as we did our FYP, fights, disagreements, grumblings, complaints, yada yada...the list goes on...and we're still not done with FYP. there're still things to do, reports to write, videos to edit and a semester to finish. not to mention all the tests, quizes, presentations and assignments.
i also got a job for the near future...one more semester and i'll be working. part of me still cannot believe how fast time has passed. 2 1/2 years in NYP has flown by super quickly. made good friends, passing friends, many friends...*LOL* things just doesnt stop. we constantly face new and different things in life. and i'm so not done with them YET. *grinz*
now i gtg be aunt agony for a friend. tata. soon.

CookOut!

2006-12-26T00:28:00.000+08:00

Yum Yum...
BBQ was great. Had fun cooking and crapping with the peeps who turned up. Although i didnt bring any cammy...there're pictures...courtesy of Sarina...*grinz* i'm kinda lazy to update...but we had food, fun, cards, and well... a lucky draw. not too shabby for our first joint bbq...just too bad the year ones didnt think it good enough to come. aha well...better luck next time. meanwhile...enjoy with the pictures! Cheers!

This is me Totally lovin' it with the food and all. I was cooking by the way. And my chicken wings got praised! Awesome!

The Chefs...We ALL did our share of cooking! And eating whilst we cook of course. Sampling we call it. *grinz*

Caught in the Act. Well...we were hungry u see...

Ahhhhh....the one thing BBQs cannot do without. the gambling table. Cards and all.

And then there's the group photos...and the peace signs and all...*LOL*

Our precious Year 2s...the ones who came...

Thats Sarina..the cammy woman...and Nurul looking good in white.

More Photos of people eating and posing with their food...and those who ate their fill.

There's Yanne With the huge wide grin wondering wat's Edwin up to

And Tian and Huips with their new hair styles for the night. *grinz*

And Thats all folks!

2006-12-17T18:27:00.000+08:00

My trips to thailand were sorta fun.

i went shopping at the mall where i could not afford anything...*LOL*

A pretty pine tree was planted in the middle of the shopping mall.

Sitting in the middle of the shopping mall at the thailand world trade centre beside the huge pine tree...is a small little thing.

A pretty little house. Which smells absolutely nice.

I risked my hide to find out the secrets to this nice smelling thing. ok my sis helped.

Yum...this is an ACTUAL GINGERBREAD HOUSE! and Boy did it taste nice. *LOL* nah..i didnt eat it. was pulling ur leg.

This was wat happened to the last guy who ate the whole house. *LOL* Its actually an art figurine.

Alright...Lunch. Finally.

The second helping...

2006-12-17T17:57:00.000+08:00

Alright...the images are kinda jumbled. but ah well...here's another bunch

Thats where we stopped off halfway during the boat trip.

Not sure who was in the stripe shirt at the corner...but that's the boat/water salesman. in the smaller boat. duh. *smacks head*

Aunt Jane, Ma, Granduncle Thomas behind.

My aunt and granny. with another two aunts and two cousins behind.
I got to feed fishies in Thailand too! Awesome. these were freed my devouts near the temple. they usually get fed. and tourists buy bread from water salesmen...or boat men...to feed them.

The houses by/on the river.

My sis. think she saw a shark

Me...i was trying to save her from said shark.

Alright...i saved her.

The water transport i was on.

A better picture of my sis, me aunt and cousin.

my aunt, me and my lil cousin. yea..i know...i look totally FAT in this pic. and its NOT flab's fault.

A hotel...not mine...taken by the riverside.

View from the hotel window of evening bangkok. thats like at 5pm or something.

Thats me pooped. After my bad sore throat and flu. AND the non-stop shopping trips. *LOL*

The view of Downtown Bangkok from my room window before said shopping trip.
My sister's foot as she tries to draw the curtain away...and well...she took the photo. HA~
The Christmas tree down at the lobby.

Land of Smiles

2006-12-17T17:33:00.000+08:00

i know i havent been blogging. heh. well...besides being bitten by the lazy bug...i've also been working and i just came back from my holiday! *grinz* isnt it awesome? well...i think i'm gonna try posting some pictures. yep...even the ugly ones...wahahaha...

alright...i'm new atthis...but i hope u enjoy it. yep.

Huge bear at the shopping mall! totally adorable...but no space on the bed for this big guys. *grinz*

at the night market. a small one.

That's me in the water transport on the main river of thailand, bangkok.
That's my sis and i in the male toilet before the thai massage. wahahaha...cool eh...

alright...i totally look wierd i know...but this is me in the male toilet when i was about to go for my thai massage. *grinz*

the pretty maple tree we found in thailand...erm in the shopping mall...*grinz*

ok....next stop...dreamland. Singapore

Eating

2006-11-20T17:20:00.000+08:00

Those who know me know that i have to eat. its not merely a necessity but a passion...*LOL* i know... a lil drama...but indulge me ya..
i love eating...so much so that i've put on like 10kg in the past 5 years coz of my "passion"..which could be avoided...the weight not the eating...if i bothered to exercise more...which i'm currently not doing...sad to say...unless u count sit-ups on the bed...when i'm half asleep or walking that extra round to get to the next plate in the buffet line...*ROFL* ok..thats over the top but wat the heck...u get my meaning...
niwaez...back to my topic...i love to eat...so much so tha i'll eat some of my words...*LOL* i always complain abt how WL doesnt do this and how WL doesnt do that...ok he doesnt deserve it...i was just being a whiny female.... remember i said how he doesnt bring me out? well...he did...sorta a surprise thingy..but we went to malaysia with his army mate and army mate's girl...LOL
as much as the outing was in the car...it was loadsa fun...esp dinner when army mate's girl's dad sorta took WL as his second son and tried to bullshit the waitress to thinking that we're gonna get married or something...*wahahah* nothing funnier and i almost spit my chysentemum (however u spell that) tea onto dinner...*grinz* so...i'm eating my previous words WL...and tkx for taking me out. i love it...
ok...get ready for the blast off...in 3...2...1...*BOOOOOOM*
Attachements have finally given up and are defeated by...THE HOLIDAYS...*kowtow to THE HOLIDAYS* thank you o great ones for saving me from the all evil Attachments...wahahaha....now thats a thought.
well...now i'm stinky coz i havent bathed...malleable coz i've just had two...and i mean TWO...good books...and i think i'm hungry again...wahaha...life cant get any better...o did i mention that its dinner time? WooHOOOOOO...chow time peeps.

The End soon.

2006-11-15T23:20:00.000+08:00

We are gonna get through this. We will...we've come too far to give up...its been too long...too much effort has been put in...although its really tiring...we cannot give up...its too important...our future depends on it...we have to do our best...give our all...I know the soul is tired, the flesh is weak...but...it has to go on...
*wheeze Whoosh wheeee*
Only 2 more days! o man...i totally cannot wait to get up late, to slack around and to go out to play! woohoo...can u believe it? We've survived thus far...the ATTACHMENTS ARE FINALLY COMING TO AN END!!!!!!!!!
*HUGE grinz* isnt it amazing how words can totally lead the imagination astray? wahahaha....alright...i didnt mean to tease...just too tempting... ;)
niwaez...i'm e-static...however u spell it..*grinz* i wanna blade, swim, run, play, watch TV...play...wake up late...play...and o erm...play...*grinz* counting down the hours...to total chaos...freedom...liberty...life. *shakes head* so drama...tsk tsk.i'm entitled. ;)

Finishing ribbon

2006-11-13T20:01:00.000+08:00

Just 4 more days and the long wait will be OVER! YESSSSSSS!!! attachments can kiss my lovely a** goodbye! (at least till the next semester)
Went for a short walk with WL today...wanted to watch movie...BUT...as usual...the times weren't all that right. *shrugz* so we ended up sitting at Macs for like 5 minutes and den...decided to not get anything and go home...*LOL* well...we only have 4 days of attachments more to go...and then....its the holidays!!! and...well...final year project...*sighs*
plus i'm going thailand!!! Bangkok!!! anyone want anything? *grinz*
i found richard's blog today...wow...totally didnt know he blogged till today...well...i just hope that we'll still be in contact. HA. niweaz...got reports to do...4 more days..*giggle* wahahahaha....freedom...YESSS!!!

Letter

2006-11-05T01:00:00.000+08:00

Dear Lord,
i know i havent been a good girl lately. i havent been praying and i havent been to church. neither have i been trying my best to live my precious life the way u'd want me to. i havent stop being thankful for ur gift, neither have i stop telling myself how fortunate i am. i just need u to watch over my friends Mel and Tso. things havent been as peachy, for them, as they used to be. i hope Lord, that u'd remind them of how much they mean to each other, and how precious it is to find someone who returns ur love.
Lord, i also pray that i would be able to accept that nothing in the world is perfect. lately, i havent been. and i give the people around me and myself grieve bcoz of that. help me learn to appreciate the small precious things in life Lord, and help me to be a better girlfriend to WL, i want him to be happy, just as he's making me happy with his love (mostly).
Lastly Lord, i hope that u're happy. and thanx for loving me the way no one else would.

With Joy, Love, Faith and Hope,
Vonne

RoofTop column

2006-11-04T23:49:00.000+08:00

As i was reading YC's blog, i sorta agree with her. when is enough enough? is it possible to forgive forever? life's filled with so many ups and downs. disappointments and heartache. it even gets awefully lonely sometimes when u realise that the person u want most to understand u...simply dont. think parents, siblings, friends, other halves...
on the flip side of the coin...it gives u independence. makes u be there for urself. stand on ur own feet and all that. its just a lil tiring sometimes...
niwaez...family day was kinda fun today...i screamed like mad! lol...ran around a lot too...totally awesome...i wanna have another...heh...but then...the response wasnt very good...fewer people than expected turned up. although we did have a lot of fun playing like mad. popcorn and all.
Mel, Tso...life's too short to fight. why remember fights when its over? wats the point? it only makes u miserable. at the end of the day..wats more important?
Tso..u said b4 that Mel's an awesome girl. i totally agree...and bcoz of that reason...and also the fact that she's so special to u...isn't it easier if u forgive her for her shortcomings and see only the good she does? why let fights last so long? half a day's more than enough to get it outta ur system aint it? think back, wat was it abt Mel that drew u to her? Why was she as special as u told me she was back then?
Mel, one thing i know is that Tso loves u. *lol* dont ask me how i know...just call it instinct. or something...sometimes we tire of fighting and all that...but remember that a cut leaves scars... and sometimes...scars dont heal right. *shrugz* hope u get my drift.
i so hope that u two are alright...
To, the person who has been more than a little annoying...i dont understand why u do the things u do. i probably never would. and as much as i would like to keep u far far away...i suspect that i wont be able. i just hope that at some point in our lives, we'd be able to come to an understanding and treat each other with more respect than we do now. yep.

The WALL...Polling

2006-11-02T22:45:00.000+08:00

U know...
when runners train for a marathon...they usually this mental block called the wall...its when u start to feel tired physically and want to give up the run...
i'm at that junction now...where i simply wanna cruise along...i'm tired of having financial problems, tired of not shopping not buying things but still ending up broke... *sigh* i half wish i dont have to go to thailand at the end of the year...half wish i was born into a sack of money in stacks of thousands. wouldn't that be grand? ;)
niwaez...on a lighter note...i have lesser reports to complete *pumps fist in air* YESSSSSS! and radiographer's family day is this week end...woohoo...ican lead a team into fun and laughter again...i miss camps...really...i wanna go OBS again...lol...yeah...dumb kinda comment...*shrugz*
i was reading YC's nlog just now...and i really love how her's has a million and one pictures!!! wow...reallly colourful her life is....and and and...her boyfriend planned a surprise destination holiday for her!! man o man is that nice...(to WL *hint hint hint*)
ok...to those who read my blog...however small the population...do u think that a guy would only treat his girl with romance in the beginning of the r/s? Poll time! grin...lets get it started ha!~

Sowiee

2006-11-01T23:23:00.000+08:00

Dearest WL...
i'm sorry i was such an ass. i just had some bad moments and i took it out on u. i know i was picking fights with u...but i couldnt help myself...and i couldnt shut my mouth. as much as i'd like to take back SOME of the words, i cant and i have to live with that. but i learnt that we disagree on many things. and also that whenever we have problems in the future (real ones) i'd HAVE to solve it immediately unless i am unable to.
however, i still wish that u'd learn to get along with the important people in my life, just so that u'd be more comfortable when u're invited. they will NOT bite u know. and they already accepted u simply because they love me. niwaez...i think the rest would be better if i said it...so...i'm gonna end here. i love u. and i hope u feel the same for me too.

Luv Vonne.

SOS

2006-10-29T23:16:00.000+08:00

Help!
My blog seems to have a glitch. I cannot seem to publish! ARGH...and as annoyin as i know it would be...i wanna show the world (or whoever's interested at least) my thoughts (ok a bit drama) *grinz*
Problem now is...my blog seems to have been refused by blogger and i got no idea why. My preview blog looks ok but my actual one kinda looks like its not finished. coz it isnt. not really. *sigh* Help... i'm in over my head. *sniffs*

Was for Friday the 27th

2006-10-29T22:08:00.000+08:00

It sucked. Big time. i woke up late, got screamed at by my dad...he asked me if i wanted maggie noodles in the morning and i said : " i dont want, you know i dont usually eat so much when i wake up." den he said (yelled) : " wat, did u think making breakfast for you is an obligation? its not something i have to do!" and den i remembered i havent ironed my work clothes so i had to speed iron, and den i had constipation, so i took a while in the toilet but still couldnt shit. Den...i was a little late going outta the house, wanted to ask my dad for a life, but he's snoring away and besides he screamed at me. so i didnt ask, and he got to sleep la luckily the bus to the train station came just as i was about to cross the road. den the train came, and because there was another train 2 minutes in front of it, MY train took its own sweet time to travel! so guess wat...i was late. decided to take cab. i got a cab driver who was pissed off with the government, had children and daughter-in-laws who did their masters and refused to do work for the government (they earn at least 11k / mth) , he thinks singaporeans are stupid to not have enough opposition parties and he thinks singaporeans have no brains and that the govt loves money. den he tells me he doesnt hate the govt, only thinks that singaporeans are dumb...and he went on and on and on...while my taxi meter went on and on and on...i spent $6.20 going to the dumb hospital when it takes 65 cents instead by bus. *sigh* nothing much to do at work...bored outta my wits, got chased out a bit, and ended up wasting the day away. went out for dinner but ended up quarrelling and quarrelling. came home, got reprimanded by my mom for being "rude" to my dad...(SO UNFAIR!) got reprimanded by my dad AGAIN for wanting to watch TV...dumb discussion abt my FYP with a classmate, a complain session with ser...another squabble with WL..and to end the day...i'm feeling damn tired with 3 reports not written. isn't it friday the 13th on a friday the 27th for me? damn dumb day. crap. at least i got to watch Charmed. and even they were having a screwed up day. jeez.

BA-ZooKa. Surprising bombshell

2006-10-24T22:19:00.000+08:00

I just wanted to say that no matter what u face in life, nothing, absolutely nothing is impossible.
so, enjoy what u have, be absolutely thankful, even of that snooty bratty brother or sister ( i actually am) and thank God everyday that u are healthy and well.
Life will seem so much better then. we cannot control much in life, only how we react to it. Yup.
Not sure why i had this thought. just to i'd share since it suddenly came to me outta the blue. Tata for now.

Unsettled prowling

2006-10-23T23:16:00.000+08:00

Funny,
i seem to have a habit where i get restless when things are just peachy. just a few moments ago, i was just wondering to myself if i can live with the same guy thoughout my entire life. i actually got a bit scared. *shrugz* i just cannot fathom the thought of being with one guy all the way, and yet, i would have it no other way! *LOL* yaya..i'm contradicting myself...cant help it. i'm born that way. niwaez...just in case u're wondering...things are a ok with WL. i'm just being me. neever seem to be content eh. *grinz*
well...i seem to have gotten over the green-eyed monster bit. seems like i've really learnt to let go and let live. after all...life's not something we can direct totally eh? and i'm starting to like the freedom i get by not wanting to control or dictate. not that i have been mind u. i've just been a tad bit too obsessive over the green-eyed monster. well...i've been shooing it outta sight recently. and its not bothering me. yet. *LOL* we'll see how things go eh.
but...i do realise that she seems to have a knack of getting wat i want, when i want it. its an entirely annoying issue altogether and i'm not sure i'm over that. all i can say is that i'm learning more tolerance. a lot more. (HA! take that u evil woman! ) so i'll try my very best to take on wat life throws at me via this evil woman. (phbbbbbh *sticks out tongue and pulls down eyelid)
i'm at AH now...a little lonely, a lil bored...things aint as happening as i would like it to be...but then again...its only been the first day eh. there're moreto come.
*stretches* *yawns* time to go hit the sack. b4 i do a lil game time and a lil homework. tata for now.

Helium-headed

2006-10-19T22:57:00.000+08:00

Well,
i must say that these few days have been draining. but its not without its perks! my my my...i've been getting quite a bit of attention and well...i'm feeling sorta awesome! so...tkx all those who said nice things abt me. really really appreciate it loads! i havent been feeling very beautiful of late. but with wat u guys said...i feel loved. so its alright if i dont make beauty queen standards. :) well...today...someone said i'm hot...although i'm not very pretty...lol..and although an uncle stared at my boobs while he was in his lorry and i was crossing the road...and peisha tot fadz said he'll prob get an accident or something...wahahaha...
well...i suddenly am learning to like the way i look. *LoL* ya ya...i'm shallow. i admit it. *grinz* but i'm having fun whilst i'm at it. So to those who help me feel this way...thanx! i'll do my best to live up to your expectations. *laughs* and at the same time enjoy some pampering. *grinz*
hmmm...i've been eating a lot these days...darn. was so hoping i could lose weight. ah well...gym every sunday oughta help a tiny bit. plus i'm not eating so much carbo as i used to. so hopefully things'll look better?
niwaez...i miss baking. think i'll do brownies tmr. forgot the self-raising flour today. *wink*

I'm dried out

2006-10-18T23:04:00.000+08:00

Sigh...as much as i like being on attachment...sometimes i get zapped of energy. Now is one of the times. With FYP looming around, reports piling on my desk, and the impending doom of a precious thing gone down the drain... sigh...i very much feel on the verge of tears. only thing i look forward to is laughing with people during work. *sigh* how pathetic is that.

Thoughts Adrifting

2006-10-16T18:08:00.000+08:00

Has your day been good to you?
Mine has been relatively alright. routine stuff. i'm actually a little bored of all the routine. i miss WL and somehow i feel like i'm drifting away from him. not a bad thing thou. *shrugz*
Space is good. We get to do the things we want, go out with and talk to other people, without worrying that the other would get angry. sounds pretty much like being single eh. *LOL* Dont worry..things are mostly fine. we're jusy busy with our seperate lives. so i dont get to see him as much and well...i miss him and i guess i'm learning to not feel this way. *LOL* Distractions are helpful. Like other people. *grinz* someone said i have a nice ass today...LOL...kinda made me feel a little better abt myself. natural reaction no? ;)
i used to think that being with someone means that u share everything with that someone and that someone would naturally understand u. maybe i'm too much of a romantic to still believe that, but i've always felt that if u cannot share yourself freely with that special someone...then who can u share yourself with?
your family would only know a certain part of u. unless u're comfortable with sharing all aspects of urself with ur parents or siblings. i'm a person who needs to express myself all the time. and sometimes i find it difficult to convey my thoughts and feelings. mostly it shows on my face, in my eyes, like they said, i wear my heart on my sleeve. and it hurts when people totally ignore how u feel and what u think. and its uncomfortable when they do not understand you.
there are times when i feel like no one understands me, nor do they take the time to try to understand me. at other times, i understand that i'm too bitchy and violatile for people to try. *LOL* yes yes...i have a violent streak i'm not proud of. runs in the family i think.
Niwaez. i've got things to do and places to go. tata.

Loose nuts and missing marbles.

2006-10-12T18:17:00.000+08:00

Things today were very much nicer than they were the past few days.
Prob coz i got to watch gruesome stuff...*LOL* i went to the operating theatre today. A place i like going to. although it could get creepy in the middle of the night. but it was awesome being able to witness the procedures they have in the hospitals. well...the very first one i saw kinda made me feel a little sorry for the patient...they sorta had a very long and not so thin metal rod, with a camera and stuff, go up the urinary tract. (for all those not introduced to anatomy, it means to go up the place ur pee comes out from.) well...its to help the patient break down a stone in the bladder. but i kinda feel that peeing would be a little bit uncomfortable for a while...*LOL* there was no blood at all...but it was kinda cool to be able to see into a person's body. (although he was waking up by the end of the procedure) he started making noises...*lol* at first i kinda wondered wat was going on...den i thought back to my own minor surgery...i understood that he was waking up...*grinz*

After that, the day flew by fast enough with bloody procedures and those which sorta just makes u wanna stop eating meat for a while...there was one room where you could smell burning flesh. and lemmie tell u...it absolutely does not smell like bbq beef or pork or chicken. it has a very distinct smell which i dont really like. yup.
bad smell turns me off. *LOL* to think my nose dictates certain decisions.

niwaez...my baby thought of me when he went shopping today. i thought that was kinda sweet. heh. i like knowing that i'm not forgotten by this person who's important to me. coz there were times when i actually felt that he forgets about me in the midst of everything life throws at him. school, projects, attachments, pretty petite slim girls...*LOL*
we havent been having a great time lately...been fighting...its probably my fault... although things usually are fine by the time we put the phone down..i kinda feel that there's this wedge. like everytime we fight or when we push the problem aside, we start to drift a little. i feel it. wonder if he does. well...it sucks. maybe i really am losing my pathetic mind. hopefully my marbles will come back to me. soon pls.

Tag Me Again pls

2006-10-11T23:58:00.000+08:00

Well...i chagne tag board services. this one will just show up when u tag me. provided it works. lol. the other one gave up loading. not sure why....hmmm...
niwaez...i'm on attachments now. life's being a bitch right now. somehow...i'm feeling down a lot. plus i suddenly find that the world's pretty much an empty place for me. i suddenly feel like i'm alone and i cant trust anyone.
sigh..someone dear to me commented that i'm emotionally unstable. i interpreted that as mad...and i got very pissed with this somebody. well...i'm not sure if i should apologise. sigh. but i must admit that i wasnt very nice to u.
so sorry. you know who u are. i hope things with us will go back to normal. i kinda feel a bit awkward with u now thou... i'm not exactly sure if u're still thinking that i'm mad...erm emotionally unstable...but all i can say is that i'm not feeling myself. feeling very very down. and i need happy thoughts instead of comments which try to make me feel worse. u're prob right that i'm emotionally unstable...even our clinical officer commented that i was lacking my usual energy...i dunno wats wrong. honestly...i just feel sad. and very very tired. i cant seem to drum up enough energy to do the ra-ra i used to do. ARGH...and its totally annoying me. i WANT to be RA-RA...i wanna ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!! but right now...i seem to only be mewling...maybe i'm missing someone. but who?

The new phase starting yesterday.

2006-10-08T01:30:00.000+08:00

You know...i'm officially free from the exams for a few months. my efforts sorta paid off for the last paper. sorta. niwaez, with that over and done...i'd now like to say that i'm relieve. somehow i feel like i have finished running a long race and i'm ready to sit and catch my breath. or watever air i can get with this fog over the country. PSI stands at 140 the last time i checked. ah well...worst case we'll all wear oxygen masks eh...i'm just hoping that no one got asthma attacks from this.
Have u ever wondered what ur other half thinks about you? well i have. and i still do. constantly. i mean...there are certain things which a person does that tells you how he feels...what he's thinking or even what he's gonna do next. everyone has signs of their own. agreed?

Like when i see something amusing, i do a half-grin. like one side of my mouth twitches and i sorta half-smile. if someone says something i dont agree with...i raise an eyebrow... and the lists goes on... so...i wonder wat goes on in people's minds.

The subtle body laguuage we all exhibit without meaning to or knowing. its all a pattern, a language we've created that only we know. or anyone who's close to us knows. i used to be able to read twinie's body language. i actually know what she's gonna say b4 she even says it. i used to be able to do the same with david too. but somehow...i cant really decipher (however u spell it) WL's. I've been trying to. I've gotten it right several times. however, the few times i got it wrong...i was trying to guess his annoyance or anger...and he totally refuse to admit that i'm correct. *LOL* so i've been wondering if i understand him enough. ah well...it takes time to know a person better...i prob havent had enough time to know him better yet eh. niwaez...i'm a little pooped. plus i'm not really think much now.

Wandering Mind

2006-10-03T11:07:00.000+08:00

Well...i'm in school now. and i'm having problems concentrating. even if mariah carey ops mimi carey is belting her heart out to me. i got no idea why but suddenly the thought of studying irks me. sigh. wonder wat happened to the kid who actually loved studying and homework. my test is in 2 hours time and i'm not done studying. i'm screwed but i'm not too worried. heh. crap. i should be worried. man...this sucks.

11 secrets. grinz

2006-10-03T09:36:00.000+08:00

I got this off a webby whilst i was doing work. as of now i'm late going out but i simply thought that this is too good to not share. Niwaez...here it is ya. Have fun people. will update soon.

1. Everything we buy for ourselves--shoes, a skirt, even just stuff from the drugstore--really costs 20 percent more than we tell you it did.
Just because it's a classic sitcom plot doesn't mean it isn't true. "Sometimes I'll buy an outfit and charge half of it on our credit card and pay for the other half in cash so my husband doesn't know what I'm actually spending," admits one 32-year-old, who requested anonymity to protect her sneaky secret. Yeah, we know honesty is the best policy, hiding your spending habits is bad, blah blah blah. But sometimes we just don't want the hassle of arguing over the price of the fancy shampoo. Is that so wrong? We don't think so.

2. We actually think about sex--with you!--a lot.
Sometimes we think about it all day long. It's just that by the end of the day we're too damn tired to do anything about it. Now, if you could only catch us at lunchtime....

3. We're just as nervous about commitment as you are.
True, many girls grow up dreaming of Prince Charming, the white wedding, and happily ever after. But we're human, just like you, and when it comes down to the reality of tying our life to another person's, we get scared, too. "The idea of getting married completely freaked me out at first," says my friend Lisa, 34. "I know this sounds like a guy cliche, but I saw it as giving up my independence and being tied down." The good news is, once we're hitched, we're generally pretty delighted about it. Says Lisa, "Now that I am married, having a life commitment is so comforting and wonderful. I love knowing that we are a team and that we're going to be on the same team forever."

4. We may be modern and independent, but we still want you to be "the man.
"We do want you to be sensitive, caring 21st-century males, but even the most ass-kicking, take-no-prisoners woman still wants to feel taken care of by her man somehow. Whether that means you take charge in bed, know how to fix the car and kill spiders, or even just carry the big suitcase when we're on vacation--when you act all manly, even if you're 98 pounds soaking wet, it makes us feel more feminine, more safe."I love that my friends and family always comment on how my husband opens the door for me and does all kinds of other chivalrous things--especially when I was pregnant, when he was so protective of me and my belly," says Lorraine, 29, of New Hartford, NY. "At the end of the day, being in his strong arms is definitely a good feeling, no matter how independent I know I am."

5. Our ex-boyfriends were not completely terrible in bed.
You know how we're always telling you things like, "Oh yeah, you're definitely the biggest I've ever had" or "No one does it like you do"? Um, yeah. Well, we may have been stretching the truth just a teensy bit. But we'll never actually tell you that a past lover was a bedroom dynamo--we're smarter than that. Just know that whatever toe-curling orgasms the other guy gave us, sex with you really is a million times better--because it's you, and you're the one we really want.

6. We're scared that we'll turn into our mothers.
We love our mothers, really. We admire them, we're grateful to them, we think they're the most amazing women on the planet. We just don't want to be them. That's why one of the worst insults you can hurl at a woman is, "You're acting just like your mother." But here's one that's even worse: "You're acting just like my mother." It sends a horrible oedipal shiver down our spines--did he marry me because I'm like his mom? Will he start expecting me to cut the crusts off his PB&J? So please, if you value your sex life, never ever compare your wife to your mother. Out loud, anyway.

7. We want you to be jealous--but just a little bit.
We want you to notice--and care!--when the waiter flirts with us, or when other guys check us out on the street. It makes us feel that we matter to you. But please don't get all Neanderthal and possessive on us. "I'm very loyal, and if my guy can't understand that I would never do anything with anyone else, then that just makes me mad," says Paulina, 22, from Brooklyn. So, to recap: Raising your eyebrows when we introduce you to our cute coworker--good. Punching him out--very, very bad.

8. Yes, we fantasize about hot celebrity guys, but that doesn't mean we want you to be them.
Christian Bale is sexy and all, but can you imagine having to clean that Batcave?

9. We tell our girlfriends more than we admit to you (but less than you fear).
Yes, we tell them about the latest marital spat, complain about our mothers-in-law, and sigh over the hobby that sucks up all your free time. But we don't tell them how big your you-know-what is or that you cried in our arms when your dad died. Some things are just too important and intimate to share. "I definitely don't tell my girlfriends details like what my husband said when he proposed, the feeling I have every time I see him look at our daughter, and the little wonderful things he does for me every day," says Lorraine. "Those are just for me."

10. We really do notice and appreciate all the chores you do.Why don't we say so often enough?
Because we can't get over all the things you don't do. My husband, for example, is incredibly diligent about keeping a 6-by-10-foot carpeted patch of our apartment vacuumed and cat hair-free, and I love that. But it kills me that it never occurs to him to dust the furniture sitting on top of that piece of carpet, or to sweep the hardwood floor adjoining it. Blame our lack of positive feedback on that stubborn female belief that there is Only One Right Way to do any given household task--our way. It's probably the real reason why men don't shoulder a greater share of housekeeping duties; we complain about how you did it wrong, so you never want to do it again. (Sounds familiar, right?) Let's make a deal: You promise to dust the lampshade (or wipe down the kitchen counter after you wash the dishes, or take out the garbage and then put a new liner in the can) once in a while, and we promise to sing your praises. Agreed?

11.We love you with all our hearts, but we still get wistful about the fact that we'll never feel that falling-in-love sizzle and spark again.
I'll just come right out and say it: Most women are love addicts. And while we appreciate the depth and richness of long-time love, there is simply nothing like the giddy, fluttery, crazy feeling we get (or rather, used to get) with a brand-new guy. We know we'll never feel that high again, and there's a little part of us that will always miss it. (Why do you think we watch so many romantic comedies?) But in the end, what we get instead--you, and a lifetime of true devotion--is more than worth the price.

ok so maybe it isnt all suitable for us not married people. but hey...it pays to be prepared yeah? Have a Great Day!

Tag Me!

2006-09-30T23:32:00.000+08:00

If my tagboard says something's wrong. dont believe it. *LOL* just tag away ya.

Aroma Therapy and Footwear

2006-09-30T12:52:00.000+08:00

You know..i'm kinda in love with the bath and body works moisturiser i got for my b-dae. its totally pampering. the only problem is that i CANNOT get it in singapore. *grumble* i was so hoping to get something to give as a present. but but but *sputters* i cant get any *wails* i'm even trying online shopping...*sobz* seems like i can only get it from eBay. Yucks. Dont even know if people used it yet. so gross.
niwaez...life now consists of notes. food. tuition. water and saving money. did u realise i didnt include breathe? yeah. its at that point. i'm pooped.
As for the jealously saga. i'm getting tired of it. although things are a little better, the problem's still there. over and over and over again. its wearing me thin. and still, it's there. and it seems like it wont ever go away. why doesnt it go away? its annoying, its loud, its not very useful and most of all...i always feel like stuffing my footwear up the wrong side of that thing. and still it doesnt go away. Why o why am i plagued with such a thing. y do i have this jealousy streak. why o y doesnt the streak leave me *wink* wat did u think i was referring to? Wahahahaha... that was fun. even thou the footwear thing on that mentionable would be fun as well. *grinz* alright. i'm going tuition. but not b4 i get my hands on a bath and bodyworks something.

Going a ways

2006-09-25T23:08:00.000+08:00

I'm in a rut. One where i try not to do certain things...but sometimes i just cannot help it. What do u do when u dont wanna hurt someone u care for, but somehow...words just come out of ur mouth without u meaning to...or you just type stuff without planning to?
What do u do when u know that u're not good enough for someone's standards but u want so much to be good enough for that person?
Wat do u choose, changing yourself for wat may be the better or staying the same coz u think thats wat u are?
Wat if u're afraid to disappoint? i am.

With two left hands and a deprived lung

2006-09-18T22:26:00.000+08:00

Well...
i was just wondering how people usually deal with jealously. I totally suck at handling this aspect of my emotions. Recently, i seem to be feeling that a bit more than usual. And as much as i'd like to say that its coz i'm super sensitive, its tough to take everything in stride when certain things grind on my nerves. How many times a day does my nerves and control have to be tested? well...more than i'd like them to be actually. and its damn tiring. so i'm trying to re-learn a new skill i once perfected. that is, to turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to my surroundings and to those who are giving me grief. which also means...be less of a sensitive person, and more of a "watever man, i dont really care" person. which is cool. coz my heart and stomach suffer less. Ha. Take that u!

Thats over and done with. lets see...exams are seriously running towards me now...its a little staggering to know that the semester ends in 3 weeks time. plus FYP presentation is due 3 weeks later, and every module paper will be rushed in the last two weeks. *sigh* where's the time to breathe? Aside from all that is tuition lessons. suddenly i wish with all my heart that someone is paying for my lessons. and my spending money. coz somehow...teaching and studying and living life all at the same time are balls which are damn tough to juggle.

niwaez...my com is lagging once again. and its just not that nice to carry on griping about things which i dont have much control over except to accept and live and ignore whenever possible. (which is super tough coming from someone who cannot keep the mouth shut)

Well...there are two friends i care a lot about who are fighting at this point in time. just want to say that no quarrel should be so big as to make both of u ignore each other. neither should it be allowed to spoil what is there between the both of u. long story short, no fight is important enough for u guys to stay unhappy long. *big hugz* (BOTH of u) hurry up and be better. ciao

Of size 25 and the very 1st leap

2006-09-14T22:28:00.000+08:00

I finally made a leap today. Although it isnt the largest one... it is the leap of examinations. *grinz* and with one paper down...i'm that much closer (holds finger and thumb 1 cm apart) to my holidays! and i simply cant wait. i'm planning to go to Tioman! at least i want to. Ser went for $160 for 3 D 2N. i think its cheap...considering that food and lodging are included. plus she didnt spend more than $100 on expenses. alluring enough? i'm psyched! just have to find the contact person first thou.
Ah well...i go to chat with an old friend just a few seconds ago. *waves* Hi DaHui...
and i realised that time flew by quickly enough. I was sweet 16 and in a much smaller body. Ha.
That didnt last long...although i still miss another time when i was a size 25 waist *glares* believe me its true. measure my JC skirt la! niwaez...my point is...i'm growing OLD... and did i mention fat? *laughs* okok i've been grumbling about it but i havent exactly done anything abt it. ya ya i know...*mumbles* its just lonely to sweat by meself. would be better if i had a constant companion to sweat and grunt and admire my..ahem..our slek new bodies together. *wink* anyone interested in taking a class or playing ball on a regular basis? i am *raises hand* hopefully east side people...*bambi eyes*
niwaez...i'm tired. typed long enough. LOL...i wanna go do something else. stay entertained ya. *muckz*

And the race begins once again

2006-09-10T10:57:00.000+08:00

well, the exams are finally showing their ugly faces.
after much anticipation, we finally know the dates and the topics...and...we're all cursing and swearing. at least i am. coz i feel really tired. studying lost its jest for me a while back. and when i have to imagine the sprint i have to make...sigh...its just a little tiring. but we're gonna finish school in 7 mths time!
half of me simply cannot wait. but the other half is simply scared shitless! i'm imagining all the responsibilities that comes with a paycheck. and all the things we have to know to serve our patients better. sigh, such is life eh. *shrugz* dont seem to me like i have much of a choice in that matter niwaez. i love wat i'm doing, so i guess its a consolation. but i still dream of being Dr Tay. heh. maybe i'll do another degree besides the one i want. :)
well...i'm thinking of cutting my hair. but i know i'll miss my hair. and i do so want a new style. sigh. i'd probably wait till graduation. i wanna see how long more i'm able to stand the length. grin. hoping that it'll grow to way way beyond my longest length. den i'll cut it short again. wahahaha. hair therapy thats called. by moi. ;)
ok i suddenly dunno wat else to say. erm...play fish tycoon! its fun. wahahaha

Peter Pan and the lost girls...erm...boys

2006-09-02T19:56:00.000+08:00

I think i wanna be a grown-up kid. or, well, someone who is a grown-up but who knows how to enjoy life as it is. i'm beginning to love kids, actually, i'm beginning to love the innocent ways of children. they seem to be able to laugh at anything, everything. and they believe in magic. thats the most wonderful part about children. they believe in the simplest of magics, the magic of love! just as God loved us enough to sacrifice, they love without expecting anything in return! that's y i've never stopped watching cartoons. the values they seemingly taught me were priceless enough for me to see life as something beautiful. i used to believe that mermaids were real, that there really was a fairy godmother for each and every one of us. now i know better but, a small part of me has never given up the hope that they are true. *grinz* and somehow, inside my imaginary world, they are true. and i'm one of them. a flying mermaid ballerina. so there.

The long wait

2006-08-29T10:12:00.000+08:00

well, i've finally decided to post another entry to stimulate interest. wahahaha. i'm actually kidding.
Ben, here's the tagboard u wanted. i hope u like it. i couldnt put it into my previous blog. so there.

Life has been in its usual notch. i do the same things days in and out. there's tuition and school and reports all around to do. but now, the main thing would be our FYP. its this thing which plagues all final year poly students. the only difference with ours is we are still squabbling about the message we wanna bring to the audience. its annoying to know that up till now, we're still at each other's throats and that we're still killing our chances. for those who think that we're doing great, well, think again. we're sorta sitting on our rumps now. trying to gather our thoughs on our best possible approach of attack. heh. den again, we're always at our best with last minute work. wats new?

Joshua and Ben's left for NZ now. JS is gonna leave next year. Prob Gracie too. sigh. wats with the people leaving and stuff. hopefully they'll all come back to us. niwaez...i really hope that i can work in the hospital i want to. but...i'm not too adverse to working in a poly clinic now. i figured that i would be able to do ultrasound and mammo, and hopefully, i can eventually do MRI in the hospitals. i'm keeping my fingers crossed. and toes and anything crossable crossed. lol.

Morning WL...u must still be in bed, just wanted to give u a line here. though i do doubt that u actually read my blog. lol. i dont mind thou, gives me complaining space. ;)
Seasons...(it refers to a group of us. they know who they are. i hope. its been ages since i last used this) well girls, i do hope that the day is starting out great for u. Summer, cheer up k. the world's a better place standing up than being 3 feet under. and i do so like to see u smile. so pls pls love life enough to take it by the nose and make it do ur bidding. its not that tough sometimes. just be firm. :D
Winter's been elusive lately. thats the hazards of school work.
Spring, has always been at hand. but like i mentioned, school work is hazardous, we never know when we'll be hit with something like project meetings or family gatherings. *grin* but i do so love our study*ahem* sessions.
well, thats all i have. stay tuned.

Moving House

2006-08-18T23:18:00.000+08:00

i have a blog somewhere else actually. its at http://autumnhope.spaces.live.com/ go if u wanna see what happened before this. And well, also just for the fun of it. :) and now...the unpacking begins. stay tuned.