Recently, things havent been as great for me. i had my birthday...but i was disappointed. Not because i was hoping for something glamourous...but because the very people i expected to be there for me 24/7...haiz.

how much change can a person undergo b4 a person becomes someone entirely? Vonne's still Vonne, underneath all that you see. Why is it that when i do the things that people do...i get the backlash simply because its "not something Vonne would do"? I've changed, Yes...but does that make me someone so hard to live with? Why is it everyone can change and still keep their friendships, but when Vonne changes...the closest people, the ones i've always felt were family by choice...start to slowly take 2 steps back with every step i take forward? i wasnt only sad. devestated. i'm only thankful that Grace isnt walking backwards. although she doesnt disagree.

they say i've become more impulsive. that i've stopped caring. these 3 words, Oblivious, Impulsive, Complacent. They cut deeper than anything i've heard said abt me. not simply coz of what the words represent, but because of the people who delivered them. haiz... I've been told to think abt the reason these words were said. but i cant seem to get this one reasoning out of my head. have i really changed to the point where they cannot live with my but would rather live w/o? Am i so unimportant that the change would simply push them away so? i've changed. not coz i purposely want to. who would? i've changed coz of what i've had in life. the many disappointments, sadness, EVERYTHING>>>ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why cant u guys understand that life never waits, life never cares abt ur feelings, life NEVER GIVES you much of a choice but to simply DEAL! ARGH.............................................................................................................................

Grace...what can i say. Hurting isnt the only emotion, confusion, rage, a whole lot of others... but at the end of the day...i'm starting to realise that you cant really choose the people u love. Gracie...i'm sorry i never appreciated u more. ;,(

For all those whom i've neglected. i'm sorry...there is only one me. there's only so much i can give...i'm so tired. just simply so tired. haiz.