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Roses. For Grace!
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My blog seems to have a glitch. I cannot seem to publish! ARGH...and as annoyin as i know it would be...i wanna show the world (or whoever's interested at least) my thoughts (ok a bit drama) *grinz*
Problem now is...my blog seems to have been refused by blogger and i got no idea why. My preview blog looks ok but my actual one kinda looks like its not finished. coz it isnt. not really. *sigh* Help... i'm in over my head. *sniffs*
It sucked. Big time. i woke up late, got screamed at by my dad...he asked me if i wanted maggie noodles in the morning and i said : " i dont want, you know i dont usually eat so much when i wake up." den he said (yelled) : " wat, did u think making breakfast for you is an obligation? its not something i have to do!" and den i remembered i havent ironed my work clothes so i had to speed iron, and den i had constipation, so i took a while in the toilet but still couldnt shit. Den...i was a little late going outta the house, wanted to ask my dad for a life, but he's snoring away and besides he screamed at me. so i didnt ask, and he got to sleep la luckily the bus to the train station came just as i was about to cross the road. den the train came, and because there was another train 2 minutes in front of it, MY train took its own sweet time to travel! so guess wat...i was late. decided to take cab. i got a cab driver who was pissed off with the government, had children and daughter-in-laws who did their masters and refused to do work for the government (they earn at least 11k / mth) , he thinks singaporeans are stupid to not have enough opposition parties and he thinks singaporeans have no brains and that the govt loves money. den he tells me he doesnt hate the govt, only thinks that singaporeans are dumb...and he went on and on and on...while my taxi meter went on and on and on...i spent $6.20 going to the dumb hospital when it takes 65 cents instead by bus. *sigh* nothing much to do at work...bored outta my wits, got chased out a bit, and ended up wasting the day away. went out for dinner but ended up quarrelling and quarrelling. came home, got reprimanded by my mom for being "rude" to my dad...(SO UNFAIR!) got reprimanded by my dad AGAIN for wanting to watch TV...dumb discussion abt my FYP with a classmate, a complain session with ser...another squabble with WL..and to end the day...i'm feeling damn tired with 3 reports not written. isn't it friday the 13th on a friday the 27th for me? damn dumb day. crap. at least i got to watch Charmed. and even they were having a screwed up day. jeez.
I just wanted to say that no matter what u face in life, nothing, absolutely nothing is impossible.
so, enjoy what u have, be absolutely thankful, even of that snooty bratty brother or sister ( i actually am) and thank God everyday that u are healthy and well.
Life will seem so much better then. we cannot control much in life, only how we react to it. Yup.
Not sure why i had this thought. just to i'd share since it suddenly came to me outta the blue. Tata for now.
Funny,
i seem to have a habit where i get restless when things are just peachy. just a few moments ago, i was just wondering to myself if i can live with the same guy thoughout my entire life. i actually got a bit scared. *shrugz* i just cannot fathom the thought of being with one guy all the way, and yet, i would have it no other way! *LOL* yaya..i'm contradicting myself...cant help it. i'm born that way. niwaez...just in case u're wondering...things are a ok with WL. i'm just being me. neever seem to be content eh. *grinz*
well...i seem to have gotten over the green-eyed monster bit. seems like i've really learnt to let go and let live. after all...life's not something we can direct totally eh? and i'm starting to like the freedom i get by not wanting to control or dictate. not that i have been mind u. i've just been a tad bit too obsessive over the green-eyed monster. well...i've been shooing it outta sight recently. and its not bothering me. yet. *LOL* we'll see how things go eh.
but...i do realise that she seems to have a knack of getting wat i want, when i want it. its an entirely annoying issue altogether and i'm not sure i'm over that. all i can say is that i'm learning more tolerance. a lot more. (HA! take that u evil woman! ) so i'll try my very best to take on wat life throws at me via this evil woman. (phbbbbbh *sticks out tongue and pulls down eyelid)
i'm at AH now...a little lonely, a lil bored...things aint as happening as i would like it to be...but then again...its only been the first day eh. there're moreto come.
*stretches* *yawns* time to go hit the sack. b4 i do a lil game time and a lil homework. tata for now.
Well,
i must say that these few days have been draining. but its not without its perks! my my my...i've been getting quite a bit of attention and well...i'm feeling sorta awesome! so...tkx all those who said nice things abt me. really really appreciate it loads! i havent been feeling very beautiful of late. but with wat u guys said...i feel loved. so its alright if i dont make beauty queen standards. :) well...today...someone said i'm hot...although i'm not very pretty...lol..and although an uncle stared at my boobs while he was in his lorry and i was crossing the road...and peisha tot fadz said he'll prob get an accident or something...wahahaha...
well...i suddenly am learning to like the way i look. *LoL* ya ya...i'm shallow. i admit it. *grinz* but i'm having fun whilst i'm at it. So to those who help me feel this way...thanx! i'll do my best to live up to your expectations. *laughs* and at the same time enjoy some pampering. *grinz*
hmmm...i've been eating a lot these days...darn. was so hoping i could lose weight. ah well...gym every sunday oughta help a tiny bit. plus i'm not eating so much carbo as i used to. so hopefully things'll look better?
niwaez...i miss baking. think i'll do brownies tmr. forgot the self-raising flour today. *wink*
Sigh...as much as i like being on attachment...sometimes i get zapped of energy. Now is one of the times. With FYP looming around, reports piling on my desk, and the impending doom of a precious thing gone down the drain... sigh...i very much feel on the verge of tears. only thing i look forward to is laughing with people during work. *sigh* how pathetic is that.
Has your day been good to you?
Mine has been relatively alright. routine stuff. i'm actually a little bored of all the routine. i miss WL and somehow i feel like i'm drifting away from him. not a bad thing thou. *shrugz*
Space is good. We get to do the things we want, go out with and talk to other people, without worrying that the other would get angry. sounds pretty much like being single eh. *LOL* Dont worry..things are mostly fine. we're jusy busy with our seperate lives. so i dont get to see him as much and well...i miss him and i guess i'm learning to not feel this way. *LOL* Distractions are helpful. Like other people. *grinz* someone said i have a nice ass today...LOL...kinda made me feel a little better abt myself. natural reaction no? ;)
i used to think that being with someone means that u share everything with that someone and that someone would naturally understand u. maybe i'm too much of a romantic to still believe that, but i've always felt that if u cannot share yourself freely with that special someone...then who can u share yourself with?
your family would only know a certain part of u. unless u're comfortable with sharing all aspects of urself with ur parents or siblings. i'm a person who needs to express myself all the time. and sometimes i find it difficult to convey my thoughts and feelings. mostly it shows on my face, in my eyes, like they said, i wear my heart on my sleeve. and it hurts when people totally ignore how u feel and what u think. and its uncomfortable when they do not understand you.
there are times when i feel like no one understands me, nor do they take the time to try to understand me. at other times, i understand that i'm too bitchy and violatile for people to try. *LOL* yes yes...i have a violent streak i'm not proud of. runs in the family i think.
Niwaez. i've got things to do and places to go. tata.
Things today were very much nicer than they were the past few days.
Prob coz i got to watch gruesome stuff...*LOL* i went to the operating theatre today. A place i like going to. although it could get creepy in the middle of the night. but it was awesome being able to witness the procedures they have in the hospitals. well...the very first one i saw kinda made me feel a little sorry for the patient...they sorta had a very long and not so thin metal rod, with a camera and stuff, go up the urinary tract. (for all those not introduced to anatomy, it means to go up the place ur pee comes out from.) well...its to help the patient break down a stone in the bladder. but i kinda feel that peeing would be a little bit uncomfortable for a while...*LOL* there was no blood at all...but it was kinda cool to be able to see into a person's body. (although he was waking up by the end of the procedure) he started making noises...*lol* at first i kinda wondered wat was going on...den i thought back to my own minor surgery...i understood that he was waking up...*grinz*
After that, the day flew by fast enough with bloody procedures and those which sorta just makes u wanna stop eating meat for a while...there was one room where you could smell burning flesh. and lemmie tell u...it absolutely does not smell like bbq beef or pork or chicken. it has a very distinct smell which i dont really like. yup.
bad smell turns me off. *LOL* to think my nose dictates certain decisions.
niwaez...my baby thought of me when he went shopping today. i thought that was kinda sweet. heh. i like knowing that i'm not forgotten by this person who's important to me. coz there were times when i actually felt that he forgets about me in the midst of everything life throws at him. school, projects, attachments, pretty petite slim girls...*LOL*
we havent been having a great time lately...been fighting...its probably my fault... although things usually are fine by the time we put the phone down..i kinda feel that there's this wedge. like everytime we fight or when we push the problem aside, we start to drift a little. i feel it. wonder if he does. well...it sucks. maybe i really am losing my pathetic mind. hopefully my marbles will come back to me. soon pls.
Well...i chagne tag board services. this one will just show up when u tag me. provided it works. lol. the other one gave up loading. not sure why....hmmm...
niwaez...i'm on attachments now. life's being a bitch right now. somehow...i'm feeling down a lot. plus i suddenly find that the world's pretty much an empty place for me. i suddenly feel like i'm alone and i cant trust anyone.
sigh..someone dear to me commented that i'm emotionally unstable. i interpreted that as mad...and i got very pissed with this somebody. well...i'm not sure if i should apologise. sigh. but i must admit that i wasnt very nice to u.
so sorry. you know who u are. i hope things with us will go back to normal. i kinda feel a bit awkward with u now thou... i'm not exactly sure if u're still thinking that i'm mad...erm emotionally unstable...but all i can say is that i'm not feeling myself. feeling very very down. and i need happy thoughts instead of comments which try to make me feel worse. u're prob right that i'm emotionally unstable...even our clinical officer commented that i was lacking my usual energy...i dunno wats wrong. honestly...i just feel sad. and very very tired. i cant seem to drum up enough energy to do the ra-ra i used to do. ARGH...and its totally annoying me. i WANT to be RA-RA...i wanna ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!! but right now...i seem to only be mewling...maybe i'm missing someone. but who?
You know...i'm officially free from the exams for a few months. my efforts sorta paid off for the last paper. sorta. niwaez, with that over and done...i'd now like to say that i'm relieve. somehow i feel like i have finished running a long race and i'm ready to sit and catch my breath. or watever air i can get with this fog over the country. PSI stands at 140 the last time i checked. ah well...worst case we'll all wear oxygen masks eh...i'm just hoping that no one got asthma attacks from this.
Have u ever wondered what ur other half thinks about you? well i have. and i still do. constantly. i mean...there are certain things which a person does that tells you how he feels...what he's thinking or even what he's gonna do next. everyone has signs of their own. agreed?
Like when i see something amusing, i do a half-grin. like one side of my mouth twitches and i sorta half-smile. if someone says something i dont agree with...i raise an eyebrow... and the lists goes on... so...i wonder wat goes on in people's minds.
The subtle body laguuage we all exhibit without meaning to or knowing. its all a pattern, a language we've created that only we know. or anyone who's close to us knows. i used to be able to read twinie's body language. i actually know what she's gonna say b4 she even says it. i used to be able to do the same with david too. but somehow...i cant really decipher (however u spell it) WL's. I've been trying to. I've gotten it right several times. however, the few times i got it wrong...i was trying to guess his annoyance or anger...and he totally refuse to admit that i'm correct. *LOL* so i've been wondering if i understand him enough. ah well...it takes time to know a person better...i prob havent had enough time to know him better yet eh. niwaez...i'm a little pooped. plus i'm not really think much now.
Well...i'm in school now. and i'm having problems concentrating. even if mariah carey ops mimi carey is belting her heart out to me. i got no idea why but suddenly the thought of studying irks me. sigh. wonder wat happened to the kid who actually loved studying and homework. my test is in 2 hours time and i'm not done studying. i'm screwed but i'm not too worried. heh. crap. i should be worried. man...this sucks.
I got this off a webby whilst i was doing work. as of now i'm late going out but i simply thought that this is too good to not share. Niwaez...here it is ya. Have fun people. will update soon.
1. Everything we buy for ourselves--shoes, a skirt, even just stuff from the drugstore--really costs 20 percent more than we tell you it did.
Just because it's a classic sitcom plot doesn't mean it isn't true. "Sometimes I'll buy an outfit and charge half of it on our credit card and pay for the other half in cash so my husband doesn't know what I'm actually spending," admits one 32-year-old, who requested anonymity to protect her sneaky secret. Yeah, we know honesty is the best policy, hiding your spending habits is bad, blah blah blah. But sometimes we just don't want the hassle of arguing over the price of the fancy shampoo. Is that so wrong? We don't think so.
2. We actually think about sex--with you!--a lot.
Sometimes we think about it all day long. It's just that by the end of the day we're too damn tired to do anything about it. Now, if you could only catch us at lunchtime....
3. We're just as nervous about commitment as you are.
True, many girls grow up dreaming of Prince Charming, the white wedding, and happily ever after. But we're human, just like you, and when it comes down to the reality of tying our life to another person's, we get scared, too. "The idea of getting married completely freaked me out at first," says my friend Lisa, 34. "I know this sounds like a guy cliche, but I saw it as giving up my independence and being tied down." The good news is, once we're hitched, we're generally pretty delighted about it. Says Lisa, "Now that I am married, having a life commitment is so comforting and wonderful. I love knowing that we are a team and that we're going to be on the same team forever."
4. We may be modern and independent, but we still want you to be "the man.
"We do want you to be sensitive, caring 21st-century males, but even the most ass-kicking, take-no-prisoners woman still wants to feel taken care of by her man somehow. Whether that means you take charge in bed, know how to fix the car and kill spiders, or even just carry the big suitcase when we're on vacation--when you act all manly, even if you're 98 pounds soaking wet, it makes us feel more feminine, more safe."I love that my friends and family always comment on how my husband opens the door for me and does all kinds of other chivalrous things--especially when I was pregnant, when he was so protective of me and my belly," says Lorraine, 29, of New Hartford, NY. "At the end of the day, being in his strong arms is definitely a good feeling, no matter how independent I know I am."
5. Our ex-boyfriends were not completely terrible in bed.
You know how we're always telling you things like, "Oh yeah, you're definitely the biggest I've ever had" or "No one does it like you do"? Um, yeah. Well, we may have been stretching the truth just a teensy bit. But we'll never actually tell you that a past lover was a bedroom dynamo--we're smarter than that. Just know that whatever toe-curling orgasms the other guy gave us, sex with you really is a million times better--because it's you, and you're the one we really want.
6. We're scared that we'll turn into our mothers.
We love our mothers, really. We admire them, we're grateful to them, we think they're the most amazing women on the planet. We just don't want to be them. That's why one of the worst insults you can hurl at a woman is, "You're acting just like your mother." But here's one that's even worse: "You're acting just like my mother." It sends a horrible oedipal shiver down our spines--did he marry me because I'm like his mom? Will he start expecting me to cut the crusts off his PB&J? So please, if you value your sex life, never ever compare your wife to your mother. Out loud, anyway.
7. We want you to be jealous--but just a little bit.
We want you to notice--and care!--when the waiter flirts with us, or when other guys check us out on the street. It makes us feel that we matter to you. But please don't get all Neanderthal and possessive on us. "I'm very loyal, and if my guy can't understand that I would never do anything with anyone else, then that just makes me mad," says Paulina, 22, from Brooklyn. So, to recap: Raising your eyebrows when we introduce you to our cute coworker--good. Punching him out--very, very bad.
8. Yes, we fantasize about hot celebrity guys, but that doesn't mean we want you to be them.
Christian Bale is sexy and all, but can you imagine having to clean that Batcave?
9. We tell our girlfriends more than we admit to you (but less than you fear).
Yes, we tell them about the latest marital spat, complain about our mothers-in-law, and sigh over the hobby that sucks up all your free time. But we don't tell them how big your you-know-what is or that you cried in our arms when your dad died. Some things are just too important and intimate to share. "I definitely don't tell my girlfriends details like what my husband said when he proposed, the feeling I have every time I see him look at our daughter, and the little wonderful things he does for me every day," says Lorraine. "Those are just for me."
10. We really do notice and appreciate all the chores you do.Why don't we say so often enough?
Because we can't get over all the things you don't do. My husband, for example, is incredibly diligent about keeping a 6-by-10-foot carpeted patch of our apartment vacuumed and cat hair-free, and I love that. But it kills me that it never occurs to him to dust the furniture sitting on top of that piece of carpet, or to sweep the hardwood floor adjoining it. Blame our lack of positive feedback on that stubborn female belief that there is Only One Right Way to do any given household task--our way. It's probably the real reason why men don't shoulder a greater share of housekeeping duties; we complain about how you did it wrong, so you never want to do it again. (Sounds familiar, right?) Let's make a deal: You promise to dust the lampshade (or wipe down the kitchen counter after you wash the dishes, or take out the garbage and then put a new liner in the can) once in a while, and we promise to sing your praises. Agreed?
11.We love you with all our hearts, but we still get wistful about the fact that we'll never feel that falling-in-love sizzle and spark again.
I'll just come right out and say it: Most women are love addicts. And while we appreciate the depth and richness of long-time love, there is simply nothing like the giddy, fluttery, crazy feeling we get (or rather, used to get) with a brand-new guy. We know we'll never feel that high again, and there's a little part of us that will always miss it. (Why do you think we watch so many romantic comedies?) But in the end, what we get instead--you, and a lifetime of true devotion--is more than worth the price.
ok so maybe it isnt all suitable for us not married people. but hey...it pays to be prepared yeah? Have a Great Day!
I'm annoying at times and too stubborn for my own good
~ Likes ~Just about everything which makes me smile. Esp, Magic. Charmed does it for me all the time.
~ Loves ~Food. Yum. o and sports, reading,music,annoying people.*grinz*
~ Hates ~Shan't mention it.
~ Wishes ~Magic to be in everyone's lives and Well..the world would look better if i lost 5kg so i guess i wish i'd lose the damn 5kg already. Ha~